


A Knight's Loyalty

by 2Iloveagoodromance_2 (orphan_account)



Category: Knights of Ren - Fandom, Star Wars: Last Jedi
Genre: Come to the dark side we have waffles and maple syrup, F/M, I don't own rights to anything., Takes place after Battle of Crait
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-06-30 10:32:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15749907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/2Iloveagoodromance_2
Summary: A story about the consequence of choosing loyalty and power over love.  To follow orders or leave it all behind to be with the one you love.  It's fluffy.  There's a lot of talk about comfort, food, but there's also fighting, injuries, friendship, family, and love.  There's pining, and pain, and choices to be made.  What will Rey choose ? Power and passion at Kylo Ren's side? Or comfort and a family with her knight in black?





	1. Chapter 1

                    Karag

          She closed her eyes, reaching out with the force. There were no large life forms in the area. She reached out, feeling the balance between life and death.

      As always, death outweighed life here in this desert wasteland. She'd always ignored it before, she'd always been too fixated on blindly trying to survive, but now that she'd been awakened to the force, the darkness called to her, and once again she felt herself reach for the darkness for guidance. She took a deep breath. No. She tried to balance herself , to find her light. She felt glowing peace flow through her, using her hope and love for her friends in the Resistance to give her energy. She sighed, and opened her eyes. That's better.

     " I found the spot"- she called over her com to the Resistance. Static, and then a moment later, Leia 's connection came through, " good job Rey. We'll be there soon." She nodded at the hologram, closing it with a soft click, and placed it back in her back pocket.

     The deep hum of an engine could be heard approaching behind her. She spun around, tracking the presence in the force. It was a humanoid. On the defensive, she cracked out her staff, spinning it in her hand, fixing her stance as she prepared to converse with or deal with the intruder.

     The speeder approached quickly, billowing up a cloud of dust that settled around them like smoke as the engine died and the stranger dismounted.

     A cloaked figure stood before her, a light brown hood draped down to his feet. His clothes clothes were Coruscant leisure wear, practical and comfortable from the look of them, all in earth tones. He faced her, and bowed his head slightly, reaching his hand up. She braced for an attack, her staff raised, as he removed his hood from his face.

     The man had tan skin, soft deep brown eyes. Toned body, muscles, visible even under the billowy fabric. He had a chiseled face, handsome features, a bit scruffy with patches of stubble, and long black hair that crept into his face, that stopped just below his ears.

     He stepped forward, and bowed deeply before her. His face stoic, he spoke in a calming deep baritone " Karag from Coruscant at your service, jedi Rey."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI:: you'll have to wait a little while for the smut. Don't worry. It's coming.


	2. Jakku

Finn

 

The hot Jakku sun baked down on his shoulders and face as he lugged the supplies back to their new make shift home.

After Crait, the Resistance decided to land and regroup on a remote hillside on Jakku. It was a place Rey had stumbled across one day while scavenging for supplies as a child. The location was 5 miles from the central market where one could barter in exchange for portions from Plutt. Out of view, uninhabited, there wasn't much here when they first arrived except for a giant rock which had worn away partially over the years so that there was now a nature  
-made shell that blocked out the hot sun; a perfect shelter, a cave to regroup in. Scattered on the hill the rock was lodged into, were old rusted metal shells that used to be attached to star destroyers, whipped onto the hill by sand and wind storms. Just a few here and there, Rey had been able to move them with some effort into a standing position to create a makeshift shelter under the rock ledge on two sides with the Falcon nestled between, partially hidden by the rock formation.

4 months have passed since the Battle of Crait. The remaining Resistance have spent all their time since, building a sort of network and home here, gathering funds and supplies from distant and nearby anonymous supporters. "I can't wait to leave this fucking hell hole," Finn muttered to himself as he continued to lug the supplies across the dry cracking sand and rock.

Others followed behind him, each carrying various supplies they had traded credits and parts for; rare medicine, portions, materials, parts, anything and everything of value that became available at the market was tracked and obtained by the Resistance. They had recruited several scavengers from the surrounding areas, offering food, shelter, and medicine in exchange for their loyalty, and pledge to support the Resistance. It's a good start, Finn thought to himself, looking left and right to the people following him back to base, each lugging a giant load of supplies.

The new recruits knew the land as well as Rey did, if not more, as well as materials available here and there, the scoop on smugglers arriving carrying precious goods such as medicine, which was even more valuable than portions here, well, almost.

Each day Resistance members held a group meeting. No one was left out, and each member got their chance to speak. Each had to state what progress they had made gathering supplies, building and or fixing, gossip, news, and ideas about advancing the efforts of the Resistance.

That's where they were all headed now. Finn and the 10 others, including Rose, were heading back from the market with a great bounty. A large shipment of bacta had arrived. They'd hid it in under sand and sheet metal to not attract attention. Just under half a mile to ago, Finn's group started to finally relax and thanked the force when they finally arrived at their fort.

The meeting would start at about 1700 hours, five minutes from now. "Perfect timing!" Rose said, breaking the silence that had fallen on the group since they left the market, a relaxed smile brightening up her face. Finn agreed. Thank the force! No incidents this time. The number of recruits was always fluctuating, so daily reports had to be made about the progress, especially when it came to the scavenger recruits, who found it difficult to trust an organization so completely as their fellow scavenger Rey had. Even so, there was now an unspoken agreement with most if not all of the surrounding scavengers that the Resistance was their ally, and should be protected and left unharmed. Gradually there was less hostility; today was definitely evidence of the progress they'd made.

Finn stayed outside of the Fort for a moment and turned to watch the sun set over the rolling hills of sand. He looked around at the walls guarded by around the clock lookouts who camped out armed with blasters on top of the rock ledge. He checked his watch and hurried inside, just in time for the meeting.

He stepped between the metal panels and closed the sides of the sliding panel door with a loud squeak that made everyone already crouching in a grand semi circle around a fire set near the back of their cave jump. The falcon was less than a couple feet away from the entrance so Finn had to walk sideways around it to enter into a space about 300 feet deep twice as tall, housing the supplies , the fireplace, and the Resistance members' sleeping quarters, all open with no privacy. A bathroom was dug to the right adjoining their fort, and the Falcon could be used as well.

Circumventing the Last of the side of the Falcon, Finn stepped into the circle to stand alongside Rey, Poe, Rose, who stood a couple steps behind Leia who sat next to the fire pit,facing every member with an open expression of warmth on her face.

She was all business today, sitting on a chair, leaning deeply on her cane, she was as regal and proud and graceful as ever. Despite her professional and kind and warm persona, anyone with a close relationship with her could see the signs of the pain she felt still after she was shot into space, and the lines of worry etched around her eyes and across her brow from so many years of war. Even so, she was as strong willed as she ever was- the Resistance will not fail, she repeated like a mantra to everyone she met.

Taking his place, Finn warmly greeted Leia and his friends and colleagues. They responded with caring warm smiles of their own. He and Rey exchanged a fleeting knowing glance ; they would talk about today later and catch up; the market was dangerous and she worried about him. He smiled. He kinda loved that about her.

Pleased that the majority was accounted for, Leila proceeded with the meeting.

"Alright, now that we are at quorum, let us begin." 


	3. I see the stars in your eyes

Halfway through the meeting, Rey felt a tap on her shoulder. It was one of the guards stationed on the roof on the night watch. He gestured for her to follow him away, just for a second, he mouthed, making a gesture of 'one' with his pointer finger. She nodded, looking apologetically to Leila, who turned to watch briefly and nodded her approval at Rey before turning her attention back to the person speaking. 

Off to the side, by the ladder to the top of the rock, fastened to the side of the fort, which doubled as the side of the bathhouse, he rubbed his hands against the seams of his pants and coughed before giving Rey the update. 

" Not much has happened, Rey. But I have noticed that Hutt's men have been moving closer each day. I'm guessing to gather intel on us. I'm not sure if it's gettin' reported back to Plutt or what." 

"Thank you, Karag, for the update. We've been slowly making progress gaining respect from Plutt's men, market workers and scavengers, but I know its been a slow taxing process, for everyone, especially after last week's incident. I'll go into town tomorrow to see if this information is for Plutt or if intel is being traded for Plutt's personal gain, trading info for credits with a first order representative. 

 

\-------

 

Rey snuck out from between the rows of sleeping forms that laid between and around the fire and the Falcon within the structure. She had been careful not to wake up Rose and Finn and Poe, who bunked close to her at night in the circle for warmth and to stay close to her for comfort. 

She made it over to the ladder and climbed stealthily up to the top of the rock. The air was chilly up here, warming incrementally as the sun rose over the rosy distant hills. Rey still wore her signature outfit with her staff snuggly wrapped across her back. She no longer wore her hair in the three buns however. Maybe Kylo's influenced her more than she thought, begrudgingly- leaving the past behind and all that. Ironic that she had returned to live and barter on Jakku, but baby steps. Rising to her feet, she walked over to where Karag was sitting. He looked up and mouthed good morning , looking over at the sleeping guard he'd been taking look out shifts with for the whole night. It was supposed to have been his turn to sleep an hour ago, but he had decided to let the young boy sleep; Karag couldn't sleep anyways with the howling creatures and marauders and enemies to watch out for, alliance still too young to trust, in his opinion, and the beautiful stars that had shown particularly brightly in the clear cool night sky tonight were just too beautiful for even he to pass up for sleep. Soon it would be his turn to sleep anyways, it was already nearly morning, when he can return to the cave to recover from the all night watch. 

"Morning" Rey responded quietly, sitting cross legged beside him on the thin blanket, staring out at the hills around them. 

“Karag, have you slept at all tonight ?”She asked, worry written across her face as she scrutinized the shadows under his eyes.  
He smirked, she was such a good friend, always worried about him and others.  
Nah-" he sniffed, leaning back on this hands, legs stretched out in front of him against the cool smooth stone. This relaxed posture relieved the tension in his shoulders and a loud full yawn took over his whole body. 

“Ha-“ she laughed quietly , patting him on the shoulder, smiling- “it's really totally fine. I'm up now, - why don't you go catch up on your sleep Karag I've got it from here" 

He lightly pushed on her shoulder in thanks glancing once at the sleeping form still curled up behind Rey, and disappeared over the side of the ladder. 

Good- she thought to herself. That poor man needed to sleep. He looked exhausted. She turned around where she sat and rubbed the young boy's shoulder gently to wake him up. 

" go to bed" she commanded gently as a pair of confused drowsy eyes peered at her from beneath his blanket.  
" where's dad?" His voice broke slightly, still horse from sleep.  
" he's already gone to bed. I'll take it from here for now- go get some sleep."  
"But I'm so comfy here " he humphed frowning, setting back into his blankets.  
Rey chucked softly to herself, " ok, ok, that's fine." Relenting.  
“Thanks , Rey,” he responded, his words distorted through a yawn, he half smiled at her, closing his eyes before rolling over into his side facing her and hiding himself within his warm blankets once more. 

She turned to gaze back over the surrounding area.  
Finally she'd have some time to think. Was Plutt working with the first order ? That bastard- she laid her staff across her lap in front of her and laid her hands on top, tightening her grip on it creaking the worn metal slightly as she fantasized about killing that selfish ugly son of a bitch boss she'd worked for for most of her life. I wouldn't put it past him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't wait to hear your comments. What do you think ?? Make suggestions. Guesses. Theories. Complaints ? I'm all ears :)


	4. Shot the greedy bastard.           Sorry, not sorry.

His body dropped dead on the ground at her feet. She took a step back in disgust; whether she was disgusted with the sight of Plutt bleeding out at the neck from a bullet wound or at herself, she wasn't sure. 

She should've felt remorse. But instead she felt the roar of the force in her ears and a sensation like cold clear fresh water cooling her body that had been scorched by the Jakku sun for too long. 

He hadn't even put up much of a fight. He had just taken her credits and turned to grab a few portions from the back. She had always known the hatred was mutual between them. What she hadn't felt before, but now that she was more attuned to the force she tapped into others feelings easily, was, underneath the surface of his expression of disgust was hatred, a great sense of prejudice and superiority against her, and something else. She had noticed in the past how he leered at her legs and chest when he thought she wasn't looking as he pawed his way through her finds she hoped she could use to feed herself. She had always ignored it. Thinking it was just part of the charm that was Plutt. 

But feeling the little bit of sick lust he felt for her, just as he did for all women who worked under him, figuratively and literally, a level of society she had worked hard as a scavenger to avoid, set her off. She saw red. And next thing she knew she was pulling out her weapon and shooting him point blank in the throat. Using the force would've been too good for him, she mused to herself, letting herself enjoy another moment of the refreshing encompassing power and freedom that came with the revenge. 

Now that the initial relief had worn off, she looking down at her hands and pocketed the weapon and ran. Past the crowd of shocked scavengers fighting to get at the now unguarded portions. Past the people looking on in fear and interest at the event, out of the market to where her old speeder was hidden nestled behind a trash heap and boulder. It purred to life and took her back to the Resistance base. 

She ditched the scooter by the two others just inside the gate , ignored the worried looks of her friends as she ran past them into the Falcon. Leia sat talking with Poe about logistics for their next steps to rebuild their weapons arsenal. Leia stood as Rey entered, waving Poe away with the promise of finishing the conversation later. She frowned taking in Rey's distress and beckoned her to sit in the co-pilot seat. 

"What's wrong, Rey ? You know you can be open with me about anything. While you are in the Resistance, we are family." 

Rey stood again and started pacing. After a moment, she stood tall and faced the general.  
"I killed Plutt." 

\--  
Leia didn't see the problem. She was a bit surprised though. And frankly didn't know what to say to the girl. She honestly thought that it was the wrong for Rey to kill beyond the sanctity of war. It wasn't very jedi, anyways ... But knowing how Plutt had toyed and punished her and almost starved her to death over the years... well, maybe it was worth it to Rey to rid herself of that demon? 

" what's the punishment on Jakku for murder?" 

Well you see, out on Rim planets like Jakku, there's an unspoken rule to look the other way. 

Leia nodded at this. Made sense. 

" but-" Rey faltered a bit, gazing at her hands for a moment before continuing her pacing; " but, killing someone like Plutt disrupts the delicate system here. He was the figurehead everyone bowed to, hated; their hatred for him is, was the only thing unifying the people here other than sand and the threat of dying from the sun or malnutrition. Now there will be a war in this area as scavengers and traders fight for the right to control. 

" Whoever has the food has the power," Leia solemnly bows her head, leaning on her cane." We already have brought enough attention to ourselves here to be a major target." She stood before Rey and started towards the door out into the main base, " we need to increase the guards here immediately. You've been working on your force ability with your Jedi books, correct?"

Rey nodded, a look of determination prominent on her face. 

" good." Leia tapped the metal floor loudly with her before her; a dull metallic thud resonated around the cabin. 

" it's settled."  
What's Settled general?"  
Rey, she started again down the plank, Rey quick on her heels,  
" Rey, prepare yourself. Reach out with the force. Read people 's intentions. You know we are seen as a threat to these people. In one day's time, three state of the art shuttles will arrive bought with credits given to us by an old supporter. Until that time, you must stay vigilant. Rally the guards to watch the gates and grounds closely round the clock." 

\---  
Within the 24 hours, every new Jakku recruit left. Leia and Rey were wrong. Jakku didn't care about a rebel group. Too focused on their need for food and power, they turned on each other inwards into the focal point of their world, the portions stand, like a pile of insects on a protein bar. Everything stopped when the first shots were fired. Plutt's son Groth took over and that was it. The cycle was back. And everyone looked away and went back to work. 

Rey was stunned. She thought she had made a difference, ridding the area of Plutt. Instead, another grew back in his place. 

The extra guards were dismissed back to their old positions, and once again Rey found herself sitting beside young Karag on the blanket under the stars, his son sleeping soundly behind them. 

Less than a day had passed since Plutt's death. And nothing has happened. Once again she knew she was right that the past could not be killed. Proof was right there in front of her eyes. It had died at her feet. Nothing can be done to change the pain of the past. The pain dulls overtime, shapes us, causes us to make different decisions in the future to prevent the same pain from recurring. 

She leaned her head gently to Karag's padded shoulder and signed. He didn't mind. He smirked and continued to gaze at the stars. Everything would be better once the new ships arrived; he felt comfort in his belief. She'd see.


	5. Space bound

The ships arrived at the smuggler landing base at 0300 hours. Flashlights lit up the night air like a close up meteor shower as Resistance scurried around the ships taking inventory of every observable part. Papers and credits were exchanged promptly between Leia and Poe and the faceless workers. Left alone as the workers piloted off in a fourth shuttle, there was a collective sigh of relief among the crowd as they boarded the vessels and the Falcon and all supplies and headed out. 

Rey couldn't make out the landscape as they flew off. Maybe that was good, she reasoned with herself; she leaned back in the pilot's seat of the Falcon and sighed. This was silly. Jakku wasn't her home anymore. She had nothing connecting her there. Even her At-At had been dismembered and picked off by the time she returned with the Resistance to create their temporary base. So why did she feel sad for leaving ? 

Let the past die... kill it if you have to. 

She shook her head, physically pushing the words out of her head, the memory of his voice sending chills down her spine. She closed her eyes for a moment, centering herself. She resumed her chores checking their route, making sure the Falcon would be in one piece still when they arrived at Ach-to. 

Karag slept soundly in the co-pilot seat; passed out as soon as they took off. He'd never been much of a morning person. Especially at 0300. He'd barely said two words between the time they'd packed up and moved out towards the meeting point to board their new ships. He'd wanted to experience the feel of the new ships, to see what the newest tech was, but he'd allowed Rey to decide for him, and next thing he knew he was happily boarding the relic. Chewie had decided to ride with Leia on one of the new vessels to keep her safe. 

His legs were splayed across the controls and chair. Mouth open, he was snoring slightly when Rey got back from fixing a quick error in the wiring. She chuckled aloud, startling him from his sleep. 

He started in a half -wha- snort and jostled upright, looking around before seeing Rey still laughing from the pilot's seat, her feet up on the dash, relaxed, and still , still laughing at him. 

"What?" he asked, feigning annoyance. He couldn't help but laugh as she explained the state she'd come back to find him in.  
Oh," he responded, breaking out into a slightly horse laugh, still rough from sleep. 

He rubbed his face to wake himself up, and checked his flight list as he asked, still glancing at the controls as he worked,  
" where's my son? Not getting into trouble, is he?" He smiled, still in a good mood from his nap.  
" Jacob? Nah, not Jacob. He's a good kid. He's working on calculus homework on the game table. I told him to teach me what he's learned after he's finished his chapter." She felt a bit self conscious about this last bit. But after all, this was Karag! Didn't make a fuss or judge. She always felt she could tell him anything. Karag was the only one who knew the whole story of what happened between her and Kylo. He hadn't even blinked, instead inquiring about how she'd been doing since, and if he could help. He'd seemed interested, asking followup questions to understand the situation better. But he hadn't berated her with questions either. Unlike Finn and Leia. Rey loved them like family , but had left the details on a need to know. They had a physical reaction of loathing and disgust every time Kylo's name was even mentioned. How was she supposed to tell them about the bond? She didn't want to feel any of that hatred get projected onto her as well. She didn't want to be associated with Kylo. In any way, anymore than she was already , after her involvement in Snoke's death. No. She was sure that if they knew about the bond they'd make her leave as a security threat, no matter how many times she told them she'd found a way to close the bond from the texts. 

Karag had helped her. He was more well read that she was ; an philosophy professor from a prestigious Coruscant university. 

He had left to aid in the Resistance first. And then his son Jacob had joined him after his wife passed. Karag had joined shortly after Crait; he jumped for the chance of a new life when he heard the broadcast sent to seek out new recruits. His wife had always been a huge supporter of the cause, so had he. But his wife 's family especially. So he'd sold most of his belongings for a one way ticket to Jakku.  
Avid supporters. Must be genetic, he'd mused allowed one day to Rey , thinking about his boy. Now 14 Jacob was coming into his own. He was smart- taking after his father and mother, especially his mother- he'd already started learning calculus; his mother was a civil engineer, may she Rest In Peace , and now he was interested in learning to be a pilot. 

Karag understood the ancient script and language and helped her analyze the pictures and to painstakingly practice the intricacies of each technique. He and rey were both perfectionists. Neither wanted to skip a step; he sort of loved that about her. And so when they'd come across the passage about force bonds, Rey had studied the pages for hours until finally she was able to place the thread that connected them back into the ether of the force. She didn't feel any different. Just attuned to the force like always. But she knew there would be no more surprises. 

\---  
The bond had been severed three weeks after Crait. Now She hadn't spoken with Kylo in over three months. She didn't know why she was counting still. Why was she keeping track of how many days had passed? 

She finally decided to just get it over with bring up this point after a few minutes of silent debating and comfortable silence had passed in the cockpit of the Falcon, each busy monitoring their course and contact with the other Resistance ships. 

" Karag?"  
"Hmm?" He asked from behind her chair as he made an adjustment to the air vent.  
Shit, how do I bring this up. Ugh just ask him what he thinks. He always says it's good to think about these things aloud anyways. 

"Nothing - nothing. Never mind." 

"What is it Rey?" He asked, scooting back into his chair, swiveling to face her chair, his hands on the armrests.  
" are you hungry ? " she asked, smiling broadly.  
His worry lapsed into his signature crooked smile.  
"Mm, yeah. I'm starving, actually! I feel like I could eat a bantha!" 

Too much coffee and a few protein bars and a portion later shared with Jacob at the game table, Rey walked over to grab the text they'd been working through lately , sitting back down between them to start analyzing again.  
They worked comfortably together. Rey felt like part of a close knit family. Especially in these small quarters, she'd never felt more cherished or appreciated. Jacob, working on his calc and literature to her right,Karag and Rey puzzling over technicalities and Jedi philosophy. All pressed together on the small bench around the small round game table. Books and papers splayed all over. 

They spent all day cycle working, until Karag's watch beeped for Jacob's bed time. 

"I'll be right back, " Karag patted her shoulder as he stood stood and cricked his back. 

Jacob, bed time !  
" k," he said, finishing up his last problem and closing his book and notebook up with a thwack.  
" made any progress ? Rey asked, hugging the boy goodnight as he walked past.  
" yeah! Rey , I'm almost finished with this chapter I'm working on. Maybe tomorrow or the day after I'll teach you?" He promised, his face a mix of determination and pride as he smiled up at her.  
" Sounds good, Jacob! Thanks!" She beamed.  
" night kid -  
Night", he called as he walked off to the fresher before bed  
Karag walked over to the faucet to pour a glass of water and placed it on the floor next to Jacob's corner cot 5 paces from the table next to their small library.  
He fussed over the blankets until Jacob returned from brushing his teeth,  
" good night Jacob" he hugged his son good night, tucking him in bed.  
He turned towards Rey. Meeting her eyes. He subtly tiled his head gesturing her to go with him to the cockpit. She nodded, closing her own book,  
And stood and dusted off her leggings. 

She left first, Karag turning off the lights behind her. 

Seated back in their chairs in the cockpit, she asked,  
" so I wanna say again, thank you for aiding me through these texts."  
He nodded, eyes closed as he learned back in this seat, arms crossed behind his head, legs again crossed on the dash.  
"Hmph, it's my pleasure. I like the challenge, it's a way for me to practice and keep up my skills as a philosopher."  
Rey smiled and closed her eyes, making herself comfy with her legs up on one side of the arm chair.  
" do you think Ill be able to fix my lightsaber soon?" She mused drowsily 

Yes, I do, actually. , Yah know, I looked ahead a bit. Next chapter is all about fixing light sabers. There's bound to be something in there about fixing one cut in half" 

" yeah, I saw that too... i hope you'll be there when I start it up again?" 

"Wouldn't miss it, kid."


	6. Darkness rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well - turn it on ! " Karag urged, impatient to see their hard work come to fruition.  
> " Yeah - here goes nothing." She closed her eyes and reached out and heard a pop and then the telltale silky smooth hum . 
> 
> They gasped, cowering, Karag holding his son protectively behind him, arms wrapped around him. She felt their fear and confusion. She opened her eyes and gasped, fear and pride striking a match down her spine as she gazed down at the ...

A few day cycles later, 4 ships landed on the island on Ach-to. 3 new. One relic, a symbol in and of itself for the Resistance and justice. 

The Falcon took off again the next morning after resettling some supplies, set for the icebound caves of Ilum. Rey and Karag hoped that the power of that place would help Rey tap into the force to fix her saber.  
The location was charted and within 3 cycles they arrived. 

" Jacob, stay in the shuttle ok buddy ?" Karag knelt before his son, straightening his son's jacket collar as he looked his son sternly in the eye.  
" why?" Jacob whined. " I want to come with you both. I've been there and listened to every lesson and argument about every text you've had Please?"

" Ok, okay , you can come " she quipped.  
Karag turned towards her, sharing a look.  
He huffed, standing and straightening his own jacket. Yanking on his mittens he looked at the door to the outside and then back at his son, considering.  
" alright. Fine.  
" yes ! "  
" but -"  
"What , Dad, what? " 

"No complaining about the cold. And I mean it. If you complain even once, you're back on the ship. Got it ? "  
Yes Dad" - he nodded up at his father and pulled on his own woolen mittens.  
" let's go" rey said, excitedly striding past them to open the door.  
She led the way as they stepped out into the blindingly bright white frozen landscape. 

" shit" she yelped, jumping back to drag them both close to her for warmth.  
Jacob laughed. " Group hug !"  
"Alright. Aww, so cute. Now let's get a move on," Karag said straightening up from the hug, all business now.  
He continued, "Alright, now," he scanned over the landscape, fidgeting to get a note he'd written himself out of his coat pocket.  
" the text says that the cave is at these coordinates" he yelled over the wind, showing Rey the crinkled slip of paper. " We're less than a mile away. Rey, try reaching out through the force. You may be able to feel the energy of the crystals in the cave."

Right"- she nodded, closing her eyes, keeping her body still close to Karag's for warmth, her arm wrapped around his. She felt Jacob and Karag's signatures in the force, and then past that, the frozen crystallized water, their fragile patterns they create, and past that, small creatures, death as always, dying and rebirth. And little pockets of different material beckoning, slightly louder than the other compounds around them.  
Ok, " she said, her eyes still closed," It's right directly in front of us, about a mile away from us. There's a cave with 5 crystals. "  
"Lead the way kid"  
Walking throught the deep snow to the cave took longer than expected. By the time they arrived they were breathless and shaking from the well below freezing air and blustering winds that stole Rey's breath away. Jacob and Karag started making a fire a few feet inside the mouth of the cave, shedding their damp boots to dry and recover a bit for their trek back to the ship.  
" yah know, I was just thinking...  
What?" Karag and Jacob looked expectantly at her-  
" we should've taken the ship the rest of the way to the cave " 

Yup " they responded in unison, frowning, continuing to build their fire. 

\---  
Rey reached out again and concentrated on the cracked crystal. But it seemed dull and just wrong compared to the dazzlingly bright beautiful signature of the crystal further in the cave. She stood unnoticed by her friends; they respected her; they knew she needed to take any means necessary to compete this task.  
\---

Deeper into the cave she couldn't make out the light from outside anymore. But she knew she didn't need it. She closed her eyes, her sight useless to her now. To her right she turned and reached out her hand to break off a large clear crystal. It sang to her. It was as if all her reading and practicing clicked and instinct melted together at that moment and she sat where she stood and through the force she disassembled the old blue light saber and parts from her staff and the new crystal and assembled a double sided saber. She loved the feel of her staff, and knew from experience to develop her strengths, especially when it came to combat and protection.  
Next she meditated on pouring her force energy into the crystal. It seemed like only a couple minutes passed, but when she stood and made her way back to the mouth of the cave, the Falcon blocking almost the whole entrance, the fire in a different place, further from the mouth of the cave ; a little camp site had bloomed into an efficient lived in area. Jacob saw her first and sprinted down the plank into the cave.  
" rey ! We were so worried about you."  
"Why? " she laughed, looking back and forth between them.  
" You were in there for almost an entire cycle,” Karag replied, brushing himself off of any stray dust that'd stuck to him whilst tending to the fire.  
" I'm glad you're ok" he said, wrapping her up into a big bear hug. She returned his hug immediately, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. 

Karag was the first to pull away, smiling from ear the ear, excitement almost palpably rolling off of him. 

So?" He asked  
"So..."  
" The saber ?! Let's see it."  
"Yes, right" she swallowed hard, took a couple steps back, Karag and Jacob standing together before her.  
She gazed down at her new saber. The long staff was the perfect weight for her hands so she decided to use the existing material to build on. They oohed and awed, clapping their hands, appraising her for her work.  
" well - turn it on ! " Karag urged, impatient to see their hard work come to fruition.  
" yeah - here goes nothing." She closed her eyes and reached out and heard a pop and then the telltale silky smooth hum . They gasped, cowering, Karag holding his son protectively behind him, arms wrapped around him. She felt their fear and confusion. She opened her eyes and gasped, fear and pride striking a match down her spine as she gazed down at the deep red beam almost containing purple around the edges, humming, laying gracefully in her hands. The blade sang to her, tuned perfectly with her at this stage in her life. 

She almost forgot she wasn't alone she was so mesmerized by her sword. She almost missed Karag's hand waving to get her attention, fear and worry vibrating off him. She was about to ask him what he wanted when she felt a deep dragging feeling crush through her conscious, exhaustion catching up with her. " Grab her" she heard Karag yell as Jacob lunged forward trying to catch her before she hit the ground. 

\-----  
She knew she was on the Falcon before she opened her eyes. The roar of the engine was telling; what she didn't recognize was the feel of the down pillow and warm wooly blankets she had wrapped around her. She had been placed in Jacob's bed , she realized. She tried to move and groaned from the effort. Everything was sore. 

" well good morning there sleepyhead," she heard Jacob call over to her as he walked in to grab a cup of coffee from the Kitchenette in the other side of the room, which doubled as the library, study, and Jacob's bedroom.  
She grunted and rolled over again onto her side facing the wall;" what happened ?" She groaned, running her face roughly with her calloused hands.  
" you passed out - probably from exhaustion" Karag answered, walking in after his son to grab a cup of caff for himself.  
" he went and sat down at the table, facing her.  
He stood back up and walked over to grab another cup for her.  
" sit up" he commanded,  
She sat up against the wall on the bed and blinked a few times adjusting to the light.  
She took the cup he offered, gingerly taking a sip, " thanks " she muttered, starting to relax and wake up with a little caffeine in her system.  
She placed the cup in her lap, running her other hand through her hair as she surveyed the room before asking ,  
" how long was I out ?" She asked, taking another sip.  
" about 1/2 a cycle."  
" you didn't miss anything" Jacob muttered, his attention taken up by the book he was reading.  
" k "  
" so, Rey," he started, a slight hitch catching as he said her name. He started again;" do you want to talk about - when you, do you want to talk about the saber now or later ?"  
She breathed deeply to center herself, nerves firing little anxious jabs in her stomach. She took her time sipping more of her caff, thinking about what she should say. 

She mentally shook herself. This is Karag we're talking about. I can talk to him. He doesnt mind. He's my partner in all this.  
" um. Well. I know it's scary. The color and everything. But you know, the book did say that there was lots of variation in color. The saber is more purple than red. And the texts say that purple means balance in the force. I've felt more angry lately than in the past. I've felt drawn towards the dark side frequently on Jakku. I think I've lost some of my hope since Crait. But it's still there. And I've continued to balance the light and dark in myself- which is, at least think, the reason for the purple."  
"Hmm.." he nodded, taking this information in for a second. " alright. But maybe the saber color changes overtime as the owner changes. Watch yourself and make sure you do not hold in too much anger. The anger you felt on Jakku has resonated wth your saber and drawn out red tones. " 

Rey agreed and sat back to meditate for a while into her saber. She thought about balancing and protecting her life despite the odds. She thought about hope and love and friendship and pain and death and lies and fear and lust. After what seemed to like hours to her, she opened her eyes and tried out her saber again. Karag was right. In her hands lay a double sided saber vibrating a beautiful silk hum in uniform amethyst. Red was the highlight instead of the base now. 

She needed to monitor the prominence of the red tones in her saber. She considered this a test for her strength. And another thing, something to use to keep herself accountable. 

She called in Karag and Jacob. Both beamed with pride for what their friend had accomplished. Karag rushed over and scooped her up into a big bear hug. He released her suddenly and gazed into her eyes. Taking a deep breath as if to steady himself, he glanced at the cockpit as if to check on something and leaned in again, locking eyes with her as he closed the distance between them and kissed her. 

\---

It was quick but meant a lot to both them. Jacob gasped and walked out of the room to give them some privacy. Rey leaned back, her fingers on her lips where he had just kissed her. The kiss had been electrifying, freeing, and yet grounding at the same time. He looking pleased with himself and a little worried but that soon dissolved a little as he took in her smile that had replaced her initial shock. 

As suddenly as it had happened, the moment ended. The ship jostled out of light speed. Instead of the blue planet of Ach-to she had been expecting , her eyes widened as she took in 2 star destroyers looming in front of her as Jacob sat on his com directing the ship to enter the landing bay. 

Her eyes widened in fear. She felt confused, hurt, terrified. Karag stepped around her and sat down to take over the controls.  
" what's going on?" She demanded to know, raising her voice, standing up to run to the cockpit where her friends were seated, ignoring the pain still throbbing in her head.  
They looked at each other silently but kept maneuvering the ship. It was inside star destroyer walls now, a minute from the landing strip. The shield between the ship and space closed behind them. The rumble of the ship's engine echoed off the cavernous walls of the destroyer like a drum roll.  
" Karag. Karag, are you possessed by Kylo? Are you a spy? what's happening?" She asked again, feeling tears spring up into her eyes.  
" rey." He said, standing suddenly, facing her, hands raised as if calming a wild animal. Before she could react, he raised his hand and for the second time in the last few days she felt herself dragged into darkness.


	7. Because you're you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You have the force?!"  
> "Yes, I do."  
> "Why didn't I feel you?"  
> "I'm very good at what I do"  
> "Why didn't you tell me ?"  
> "I needed to help you learn to use the force; I was undercover."  
> "Why?"  
> "Because you're you"  
> 

"Knight Karag, well done." Kylo's projected self hovered over the dash board. Karag bowed his head, stepping around where Rey lay unconscious on the ground to sit in the Falcon's pilot seat.  
I can't wait to destroy this fucking ship once and for all, Kylo muttered to himself, his face twisted in a pleased grin. Jacob gazed at his master out the corner of his eye but didn't say anything. He knew that he needed to go smoothly, and to do that, he needed to keep his head down.  
I mean, so far it had, Jacob thought, shifting his attention back to the controls to help lower the ship safely on the platform. His father has done a great job preparing the girl, helping her grow her force skills, harvest her feelings all to the surface so that her passion and anger would increase her power and her acceptance of the dark side. The plan had worked perfectly. Rey was more open to the dark side than ever. Especially with her emotional connection to them. He was sure she wouldn't want to leave now. She was closer to him and his father than anyone else in the Resistance now.  
He even thought of her as part of his family now, to be honest. Like a sister or motherly figure. He liked Rey- her spirit and drive. He admired and looked up to her. No. She wouldn't want to leave now. We were her family now. Her hatred for Kylo would only strengthen her bond to the dark side. It was done, and her balance in the force only added to her power, he thought. A check and balance system is always a good thing after all. In all things. 

With Ren's permission, Karag left the holo conversation for a moment. He picked Rey and carried her into their study in the Falcon to lay her down on Jacob's bed. He carefully pushed Rey's hair out of her eyes and studied her signature for a moment to see if she was ok. She'd be pissed when she woke up, but she was healthy and strong and she'd be alright. 

Karag considered himself a passionate and kind man. He prided himself on his force cloaking ability. He'd been able to successfully hide his and his son's force abilities from Rey, whom was naturally gifted in the force, for months without her knowledge. He was loyal to a fault, and cared about three things above all else; the force, his family, which included his fellow knights, and this now included Rey, and his studies. 

Satisfied that she was alright, he moved back into the cockpit and strapped in as the ship landed softly on the strip.  
" move her to the knights corridors. Make sure she takes care to rest up. We start training at 0430," Ren commanded, his voice triumphant.  
Yes, master," they responded in unison, bowing their heads towards him politely as his projection shut off, before exiting back towards the study to collect Rey and their books and possessions.  
Karag lifted Rey into his arms and floated the bags filled with books and possessions behind him. Jacob did the same, following closely at his father's side as they descended the ramp into the docking terminal. The noise of the ships and people was deafening the 10 feet into the elevator. 

They collectively signed with relief from the effort of the bags and from the comforting silence as the sound proof elevator doors closed. Floor 30- here we go"... Karag muttered, rolling his shoulders straining under Rey's weight.  
" so, what's the plan now, father?"  
Staring ahead at the door his said, " well, for starters we're going to get us both something to eat and change. The other knights should still be off ship on their missions. They won't be here until next week. For now, we're going to be kind and courteous and help Rey adjust to her new life with us. No training for us tonight, you don't have to worry. You can go use the 'fresher, relax, watch some holo; no studying either.  
" sounds great !" He said, smiling up at his father. The elevator dinged letting them know they'd arrived. He stepped forward to type in the code for their private quarters and ran off immediately for his room, three doors to the left from the entrance. 

The elevator opened into the corner of a large shared living room. There was soft wall to wall white carpet, a large sectional black leather plush sofa surrounding a large black wood rectangular modern table with the glass top, with two matching leather arm chairs on the other side. This was set off to one side to the left of the elevator. Behind the couch was a wall to wall think window view of space. To the right of the seating area the carpet breaks off temporarily into a 5 feet wide strip of dark smooth mahogany flooring, leading from the elevator straight all he down the hallway that started about 30 feet back, the same width as the mahogany pathway, that led to all their individual chambers. To the right of the strip is a large kitchen with onyx colored cabinets, lots of soft lighting, backlit white marble countertops 280 around a natural light wood island. State of the art appliances. A long sleek black glass top table sat next to it, a long window floor to ceiling of space, mirroring the other wall parallel on the other side of the room. 

The space was immaculate. Not like it's lived in state when the other knights were here, Karag thought happily to himself. He missed his knights, but having the space this clean, and all to himself, he liked. 

The elevator opened directly into their quarters. Nice and quiet. Perfect for him and his extended family. And now for Rey.  
"Hey, Jacob!"  
Yes, Dad?" His voice carrying out from his room.  
" your stuff ! Please don't make me carry your stuff."  
" oh, sorry !" The bag scraped quickly out the elevator across the room to Jacob's chamber.  
" thanks ! See you tomorrow Dad !"  
" night! Love you" 

Karag made his way to the couch and plopped Rey down. She's gonna be out for a little while. Might as well use the fresher and get unpacked. I hope her room is ready. I alerted the Order we'd be here today...

He walked over, dragging his luggage behind him with the force, to his own room, across from Jacob's, three doors on the right. All the rooms were the same. Black wooden doors that opened into a large square room; his had a large queen sized bed of black wood, dressed with a think black plush comforter with matching pillows and white sheets beneath; a dark red, almost black, throw over the left corner, made by his wife one birthday. He had matching black bedside tables decorated with pictures of his family and home world, knights and quotes he liked. There was an adjoining full bath. He had large pictures framed on all four walls to add some life to the white walls. Behind his bed a window took up the whole wall, floor to ceiling, black vertical blinds clumped in the center directly behind his bed. Plush wall to wall white carpet. Large closet to the right of the door, doors the same color as the main one. 

He was home- finally ! He quickly unpacked his books, laying them down on on a plush black leather armchair he used for reading; set to the right of the door next to the closet, a modern looking reading light curved upwards over his chair.  
Satisfied for now, he undressed laying his clothes in a black wicker box hamper in front of his bed, and stepped into the fresher, trying to move quickly so he'd be there when Rey woke up. 

Thank the force, she's still out, he thought to himself as he left his room dressed in comfy clothes in a rush to meet her.  
He sat down in one of the chair across from the couch and ruffed his damp hair back from his face. He'd shaved, not needing his rough cover anymore to fit in with the Resistance crowd. He'd cut his hair back to the short length he liked. He could sense that his son was already asleep. 

He sighed, finally relaxing, and leaned back in his chair, grabbing his holo from his pocket to read up on the latest news reports of the order and the knights. 

A few pages into the latest news of Knight James's report on his ability to kill the leader of a small rebel terrorist group off on one of the core regions, he felt her signature stir and jumped up to kneel on the floor by her head. She moaned, rubbing her face; she opened her eyes to see a very worried Karag staring at her, his hands prepared as if to catch her, fearing how she'd respond. 

Instead, she leaned up on her arm slightly and looked around before staring back at Karag. Sitting upright, tucking her legs under her criss cross, she demanded, her voice a little hoarse from sleep; 

"Karag? Where in the force are we?" 

\----------- 

He breathed, standing up to grab them both some kaff. Handing one cup to her, and taking one for himself, he sat back down in the arm chair, folding his arms over his chest. 

He pondered her questions for a moment as she hurtled almost a dozen quickfire at him before finally saying, "Well, you're on the Finalizer. You're in the knights quarters. You're on a couch. You've been asleep for only half an hour. I carried you up. I'm feeling too tired after all the traveling we've been doing to answer all your questions now, Rey. Jacob's alseep in his room. Your room should be ready if you'd like to take a shower and change into some clean clothes. Then we'll order you some dinner and you can get some sleep. Tomorrow you start training at 0330. This last part is non-negotiable- he gave her a stern look; . The rest is up to you," he added, smiling. He was trying like mad to send her positivity and acceptance. through the force. 

She blinked at him, unsure of what was happening. 

" I know this is a lot to process."  
" yeah... ok. This is a lot. I feel a little bit dazed, to tell you the truth."  
she rubbed her face and fluffed her hair back out of her face.  
" I'm sure - why don't you go shower and I'll make you something- "  
Kay" she said , still in a daze. She stood and slowly made her way towards the hallway. Suddenly she stopped, shaking her head as if to clear it. She spun on her feet, looking shocked, " wait - Karag, you're a knight???" He ran to her, hands up again to calm her.  
Yes, Rey, I am second after Kylo. There are 5 others off ship on various missions. They'll be back next week."  
" so that means you're dark side and on the side of the order?" She asked, close to losing it as this point. . She looked terrified; he didn't blame her honestly. But at least she was talking to him. She wasn't angry persay. Just confused and still in shock.  
" yes and, yes, technically, I suppose I am. I'm more a knight and loyal to the knights and to Ren first and foremost."  
She was about to continue when he cut her off, taking her by the arm, pouring as much calm through her as his tired mind could manage at the moment. He guided her to the fourth door on the right next to his, and opened the door with the force. He gently led her to the door to the fresher and left her, staring at him eyes like saucers as he walked back over to leave the room to make dinner.  
You have the force?!"  
Yes, I do."  
Why didn't I feel you?"  
I'm very good at what I do"  
Why didn't you tell me ?"  
I needed to help you learn to use the force; I was undercover"  
Why?  
Because you're you"  
But - " he cut off her questions there, leaving her alone to process everything. 

" I'm never gonna hear the end of this " he mumbled, jamming his hands into the pockets of his sweats as he made his way back down the hall.

\----

 

\----  
She should've felt angry and terrified, shouldn't she? She thought so as she scrubbed her skin with a loofa and soft oatmeal scrub she'd found in the cabinet above the sink. Instead she'd felt almost peaceful - probably Karag's doing - she realized, and stopped scrubbing for a moment. He's got to show me that trick, she thought excitedly as her fingered roamed patterns through the condensation on the glass pane of the shower. And, maker, he'd been able to hide his force signature to copy the other Resistance members for months without her figuring it out. Shocked was an understatement. Incredulous? Whatever, She couldn't believe it. But she had to adapt. He was like family to her. So was Jacob, and they'd only ever been kind to her. She couldn't hurt them and leave if her tried. 

She dried off and used a low fan to dry her hair before moving to the closet in her towel to find something to wear. For the first time, she'd been too distracted before , she looked around her new home. The soft white carpet crinkled slightly beneath her feet. The black queen sized bed and black duvet looked inviting, she couldn't wait to sleep. It’s soft to the touch too, she discovered as she leaned over to press on it with her hand. There were empty frames on the two bedside tables. She discovered the black hamper, the enormous beautiful view of space floor to ceiling. She loved the option to close the blinds over it though - space can be dizzying at times. 

The closet was huge. The doors must be new - they opened without creaking; inside was a shoe rack and above it were a few shelves and a place for hangers to the left. There was a note of TBD on the rack side- she guessed she'd be able to make her choices for dresses later - thank the maker - she thought with relief. Force knows the gaudy dresses that could've ended up in her closet. 

On the shelves she was pleasantly surprised to find clothes identical to the tones she'd used to wearing, in soft cotton and durable sweat proof training clothes too . The style was a little more sleek and stylish than she was used to wearing. But all in her size, comfortable looking and practical. She chose black leggings and dark grey fitted short sleeve v-neck shirt with a red bandeau and thick white fuzzy socks. She felt more like herself. 

She opted to leave her hair down, letting it flow over her shoulders instead of tying it up on top; no buns anymore, but she also didn't feel like dealing with it last brushing right now as well- so completely down today. 

She stared at herself for a moment in the mirror. She looked fit and strong. More confident still than ever. And not as afraid than she thought she should be, considering. Even without his calming influence, Rey felt like things were going to be ok, as long as she had Karag and Jacob. She could figure a way to protect the Resistance, and she could continue to learn to use the force with her friends. Despite lying to her, she still trusted them. She has to. She'd lost enough people in her life to be choosy. Not when they were good influential people who'd helped her break the bond and fix her lightsaber. 

She'd found a family to be a part of. A force family. This was gonna be ok, she assured herself, nodding at herself in the mirror before exiting.  
Everything was going to work out. Right?  
It's ok, she mumbled like a mantra, trying to will her heart rate to return to normal  
It's ok ...  
It's ok ...


	8. Pancakes &Discipline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Apprentice. Let us begin."
> 
> She screamed, lunging at him, saber swinging. He caught her in midair and slammed her into the floor.
> 
> " Wrong."

 

"Something smells good!” She exclaimed, propping herself up on the counter across from the stove behind him.

  
" shh- he motioned, gesturing towards the hallway, smiling. He laughed, "Jacob's sleeping."

  
She laughed, "oh, oops. Sorry. So what's for dinner ?"

  
" hmm" he swung his towel onto his left shoulder. "I was thinking pancakes?" He smiled. He'd been the one to introduce her to them. He'd told her about them, and found pictures of them on the holo. That's why he made them - he knew they were her favorite.

  
Her whole face brightened up, " yessss !" She hopped down and hugged him to her. "Thanks for always having my back " she whispered against his neck. 

" Anytime, " he muttered, a little flustered at their closeness, pulling away first." So you're- you seem to be adjusting to all this change pretty well then, huh?" He asked, giving her the once over, grinning.

  
" yeah - I guess-" she shrugged, playing with a spatula floating it above the sink as she bit her lip, thinking.

  
"Rey -" she looked up at him, the spatula falling to the counter. " I know it's a lot. He turned from the stove, facing her. " you're doing well so far, you just need to try. Like you always do. You're strong. You're going to be alright here, I promise."

  
This elicited a smile from her. " Thanks, Karag"

  
" Now , let's eat " he scooped up some pancakes and brought berries, whipped cream, maple syrup and butter and two plates and silverware and assembled it all with the force on the table.

  
" Show off" she teased, rolling her eyes. She jumped down and ran over to the table to start.

  
He quickly turned off the stove and ran to join her. He wasn't about to let her hog all the pancakes.

\---  
It felt like old times between them. It seemed unlikely that their friendship wouldn't change after they'd taken her here, and yet here they were, talking about the force, laughing, enjoying their meal together.

He looked different to her. He'd always been , you know, Karag the scruffy guard with a kind heart and expressive eyes with a sharp mind and sweet adorable son, who'd helped her get through her jedi texts. Now, she was starting to see him in a different light. He was Knight Karag - it'd take her a while to get used to that. He had amazing force abilities. He was a great professor and teacher, and for all intents and purposes she'd been his padawan for the past several months. She was loyal to him as he was to her.

She had to admit he was handsome when he was clean shaven, his hair trimmed back out of his eyes. He looked like Poe, actually. Muscular, handsome, warm brown eyes, crooked smile, and very charming when he wanted to be. He was a bit of a book worm, too. Which she admired in him. He was passionate about education and learning, which he tried to aspire in his son and now in her. She couldn't imagine life without him now.

She had come out of her room looking beautiful as always. Her new clothes suited her. And he really preferred her hair down. He was glad that she'd given up her three bun look. She'd looked so sad every time she'd donned them in the morning. Now she was this beautiful confident force user who he enjoyed teaching and talking to. He was 33 now, a little little older than her, but that wasn't an issue when it came to teaching her and helping her, and being her friend.

It was late in the cycle by the time they went to bed to separate rooms. They hugged once goodnight after cleaning off the table and cleaning up.  
" Good night master Karag " she smiled at him before closing the door to her room to go to bed.  
" Night Rey " he replied, glancing once at her door before heading towards his 'fresher to get ready for bed.

He stood for a moment inside his room and leaning back on the door, pressing his hand above his heart. He sighed. Force, that went better than he expected. Thank the force.  
He wiped his brow with the back of his hand and went off to brush his teeth.

He crawled into bed, making sure to plug in his com charger on his bedside table.  
He had a bunch of new messages; one from Master Ren; << how is Rey ? Settling into her new life ok?>>

He sighed, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat; he still felt stressed about today; << everything has gone surprisingly smoothly. She trusts me completely, and my son. I told you her hatred of you will only feed her power. I am loyal to her and I am loyal to you first and foremast, Master. She is loyal to me and by extension she is loyal to you>>

...>>  
"<< that is good news. Good job Knight Karag. See you tomorrow. 0330.  
< yes sir >>

He closed the screen on his com and leaned back on his pillow.

Everything 's going to be ok  
It's going to be ok  
Maybe the force be with him and his family.  
And with Rey.

  
\-----

  
0330 came more quickly than he wanted. He was up at 3. Dressed quickly, ready by 10 till. He was already halfway through his oatmeal when he realized Rey wasn't up yet.

"Shit" he swore, slapping his spoon into his bowl. He heaved himself up and sprinted over to her door.

He was about to knock when the door swung open. Rey was ready, dressed to train, her saber tied securely to her belt.  
" morning!" She beamed at him, walking past into the kitchen area.  
She grabbed herself some caff and took a sat to the right of his. He rolled his eyes. He shouldn't be surprised. He always forgets she's a morning person.  
He sat back and down and finished his oatmeal while she sipped her caff in silence. 3:29, Jacob came bounding down the hallway, breathless, barely catching them in time as they stood in the door to the elevator.

" you're late," Karag scolded, pulling his son into the elevator before the doors closed.

"Sorry Dad" he said, smiling sheepishly.

"So. rey ," Karag said, turning his attention towards her, " the plan for today is to do some light weight training, aerobics, and then we'll test your saber skills against my son.

  
"Muhahaha" his son cackled mischievously.

  
She laughed. " you're going down, kid"  
" we'll see about that" he winked at her.  
Karag rolled his eyes. Rey had no idea what they had planned for her.

\---  
The sparring session ended up taking up the whole day. Master Ren wasn't there, too busy and frankly she has a lot to learn before she's ready to spar with him. Natural ability or not, her skills drew from Ren's with the bond before it was broken. And then one time she wounded him; she'd gotten lucky, he had been shot and compromised after killing his father. The throne room had been magnificent. But her skills had been magnified by the bond then too. Ren was stronger than ever now. And Rey would get hurt. She'd just barely made her saber. She needed to train. Hard. So the plan was for her to train with Jacob under Karag's tutelage until the other knights returned. Then Jacob would attend regular schooling and only train on weekends and afternoons once more, and Rey would train with each Knight until she was good enough to survive training with them. Then she would train with Karag only when she was ready; then and only then would she get the opportunity to spar again with Master Ren.

\--  
Rey felt a little annoyed. But so be it. And she respected Karag's recommendation, anyways. The day was grueling. Jacob pinned her at every turn. Her footing was sloppy but strong. Full of potential. Her stamina on the weights and aerobic exercise was impressive but could be improved. Out of hours of practicing, she only won one round with Jacob. By the end of the day she hurt all over. She and Jacob shared a couple waters back in the chambers on the couch, too tired to use their freshers, while Karag worked in the kitchen preparing dinner. Lunch had been whole grain wraps thick with avocado, chicken and rice and beans. Dinner would be a homemade beef stew with lots of potatoes, carrots and thick flavorful broth.  
Karag brought their bowls to them after an hour of cooking and they ate in silence on the couch.

  
" Jacob, tomorrow I want you to start on your studies again ok? You up for training again with Rey morning for a few hours?"

  
" yeah! Today was fun! See ya tomorrow Rey !?" He hugged her good night.  
" you bet," she replied happily, returning the hug.  
" night !" He called as he disappeared into his room.  
" night ! " the called in unison as they heard his door close behind him.

" you have a lot to learn Rey" his eyes suddenly intense.

  
She felt too proud to see it. He took in the defiant expression on her face and decided to try another way to get her to see the need for her training.

  
" the fact that you think you know everything now is a short sight on your part. Every day you get better. And you are already talented in certain areas of combat, but there is a lot you do not know. I have been training for the past 27 years and I'm STILL learning."

  
She studied his expression and looked down , trying to keep her anxiety in check.  
" ok".

  
"Ok, so you'll continue to try, and take in everything I tell you?"

  
"Yes- "

  
"Yes, what ?"

  
She gazed back up at him,  
" yes, master "

  
He winked, smiling , grabbing her hand carefully in his own ; " you do not need to call me master. Especially in these rooms. Just in training , okay? Here, I'm just Karag." 

Her face relaxed, smiling - " ok Karag; thanks for today by the way" she stood and kissing his cheek as she passed to head towards her rooms.

  
" Anytjme ! He called, touching his cheek where she kissed it, grinning.

  
" night - Rey "

  
" night!" She called back as she closed to the door to her room with a soft click.

He tucked himself into bed, grinning ear to ear. He couldn't wait to contact his master about today's progress;

<< Master Ren, you will be pleased to know that Rey has made great progress today. She has much to learn but has agreed to the pecking order of things. Her ego will only help her here. In a year or so she will be ready to attend your training sessions with me and the other knights.>>

" well done my friend >>>

  
He beamed at the praise. Ren is many things. But no one could say Ren isnt loyal to his Knights. They are his family, peers, and greatest allies. Praise was rare. But it was easier for Kylo to express himself about Karag than with the rest. He'd known him the longest.

\----

Karag

Journal entry 268  
268 cycles have passed since meeting Rey. Training was slow until she joined us on the star destroyed. But now she is quickly becoming my best student. She and the other knights get along well enough. Slowly they are learning to respect and trust her. And vise versa. She had moved up to Knight number three now. Sure she barely matches the others, but this is by stamina not experience. She matches my son now, both in her knowledge and book smart experience with force philosophy. Street smarts give her the advantage; she matches all of use in her hand to hand combat skills. It's her classical knowledge of footwork and saber technique that hold her back. It's form and mental strength. My prediction is that we are still on target for her meeting with Ren at the end of the year; I'm going by a 365 year planet model here. 30 days from now she will fight me. Force willing, everything will be according to plan.

PS: get Rey a device to take pictures with. She needs some art in her room.

 

  
\-----  
Rey

Journal entry 291

Karag got me this stupid journal and insisted I use it to vent my thoughts. So here goes.

He got me a picture taking device so I filled some of my frames with pictures of my small force family. He is so considerate ! I love this guy. He's a real hard ass. A kind and patient teacher, but a perfectionist. Hard and weathered. He thinks I'll be ready to train with him in a few weeks. I'm not sure. Honestly , I've never trained so hard in my life , and the more that I train the more I realize I don't know. I'm sore all the time. But I'm also happier than I've ever been in my life. I have a family. The knights are like my brothers; we argue and tease each other, but we also support and help each other. We're all athletes here. The force united us, makes us stronger together.

Force willing, I will be ready to begin my training with Kylo Ren by the end of Karag's 365 day plan.

PS: ask Karag to teach you cooking. You should surprise him one night and cook for him. Maybe next week when you duel him for the first time...

 

 

\---------  
Day 298 0330

Rey was up at 0230. She had gone to bed early to make sure she had enough energy today when she would finally get the change to duel Karag. She tied back her hair on top out of her face with a leather ribbon, and chose a black form of her outfit, to look clean despite how many times she'd probably hit the floor today. She laced up her boots and headed over to the kitchen to make breakfast.

She was surprised that Karag wasn't up before her today. I guess he's usually out of his room by 3:15, not 0300, she shrugged, pouring herself some oats as she prepped the milk on the stove. She put in enough for two bowls , knowing Karag would want some as well, and started the Kaff up as well. They'd both need it for today.

True to his routine, Karag was out of his room ready by 0320. He was delightfully surprised that Rey had made breakfast; actually edible this time, delicious actually. Karag had requested that today it would just be the two of them, but the knights had disagreed, arguing that they wanted to sit and watch the fight. Rey had agreed so Karag relented and okay'd it.  
The sparring mat was layed out in the gym, displaying the colors of the order. The knights and Jacob sat quietly against the wall to the side to watch.

Taking their places, Karag and Rey discussed technique and choice of weapon. It would be the sabers. Taking a calming breath, Rey lit her double saber. There was a collective gasp. No one except Karag and Jacob had seen it yet. They had only seen her with practice sabers, set to only singe when struck.  
Jacob leaned over to quietly whisper, " told you !"  
Karag gave a warning look at the knights and his son and the discussion stopped immediately. He lit his own saber, the deep red almost black. He closed his eyes, meditating the dark side into his saber and to give himself power.

" Apprentice. Let us begin."  
She screamed , lunging at him, saber swinging. He caught her in midair and slammed her into the floor.

" wrong."

  
She cried out in pain. She'd barely been able to extinguish her saber in time. It had barely touched her hand, but she felt the side of her palm starting to blister from where she'd landed on it.  
Get up, she commanded herself. She sprung up on her feet, shaking herself to get ready.

  
" Use your pain to fuel your power " he commanded, showing off by lazily twirling his saber. " Do not make your moves so predictable. Block off your mind to me. I have showed you tricks and told you to master them in your free time"  
She'd forgotten. Shit. Ummm, let's see. If her memory served her, she was to imagine large barricades wrapping around her mind. Then she was to lock her conscious mind beneath layers of simple ideas and memories. She closed her eyes, starting to build. A few minutes passed and she opened her eyes to nod at her master.

  
He smiled, fixing his feet into fighting stance. She copied his movements.  
" Ready now, young Padawan ?" He smirked. 

  
" yes, master Karag "

  
" good, let us begin" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anything you want to get more of ? Talks with the knights. Fighting ?   
> Just a couple chapters before her fight with Ren.


	9. I'll break you because I care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She breathed out, opening her eyes. The eyes that stared back looked wild and strong, faint yellow rimming her pupils, accentuating her hazel eyes. 
> 
> She smiled wickedly at the image; she'd never seen her eyes look quiet so ... so bold and beautiful before; she was ready.

" Good, let us begin" 

Karag was a master. He knew every move she'd make before she made if because he'd given her every move she knew. She'd never fallen so many times in her life. She'd always fought based on instinct and intuition. The fact that she forgot to practice her barracade skills hurt her.  
Immensely. Physically , and in the progress of the fight. Every round she tried to block him out. But each time she'd make a move, her walls would falter and she'd let slip part of her move and he'd win. He never wounded her. Not with his saber anyways. 

It was almost 0300 the next cycle by the time they stopped. The other knights that left hours ago ; it frankly had been too painful to watch. She hadn't been able to make him move once from his place on the mat.  
She heard a crunch- she'd landed on her arm. Too tired to hide it any longer, she sucked in her breath sharply and cried out in pain, clutching her arm. " owwww !!!" She cried. 

She felt him draw near.  
He knelt down where she lay and scooped her up into his arms. she cringed and cried out. He ignored her and started walking towards the door. 

"Put me down" she protested weakly, starting to fade quickly from fatigue. She didn't try to fight it when he ignored her request. She laid her heard on his chest, trying to get even closer to him. She closed her eyes and barely registered when they had entered the Knight chambers. She opened her eyes to see him heading for his door instead of hers. 

" Karag, mine's the next one " Again he ignored her, opening his door with the force so that he didn't hurt her when he moved. He moved inside the dark room, closing the door behind them with his foot with a loud click.  
Stepping forward, he walked the few feet to his bedside and carefully lowered her onto his comforter. 

She sank in slightly , Laying flat on her back, too tired and sore to move.  
He made quick work of her boots and arm wraps before heading to the fresher to get down the first aid supplies. 

Soon he was back, crawling onto the bed from the other side so that he could sit next to her without making her move.  
Silently he tended to the cuts on her neck and face, dabbing ointment and bacta patches and a couple small bandages on her brow and chin.  
Next he carefully slowly lifted her arm with the force so that he wouldn't hurt her. She closed her eyes, relief flooding her as she felt the cool soothing bacta break up the bruising on her injured arm. Thank the force, nothing seemed to be broken, he thought, pleased with his work She'd be fine. Force users healed quicker than most anyways. 

" you're going to be alright," he assured her, patting her hand with his own. 

He stood and made his way over the lights. A soft click extinguished them; the only light coming from the soft glow of the surrounding towers of the destroyer. Bathed in darkness, he walked to the fresher to get dressed and cleaned up before joining her on the bed. He could feel through the force that she was already asleep. As carefully as he could he draped the soft red throw over her and lifted himself in under his covers on the other side next to her. He turned onto his stomach, grabbing the com to him to write a quick message to his master. 

<< day 365 is approaching. Rey will be ready. She has done well- Karag>>

\----  
She'd never been so sore in her life. Oh my god I'm dying, she thought dismally. Her every muscle cried out as she tried to move enough to sit up in her bed. Wait, was that snoring?  
Curious she opened her eyes , turning her head to find a peacefully sleeping Karag snoring softly by her side.  
Ohhh, the memories had already been coming back to her. The beat down. The pain. The fighting for hours. The failure.  
She groaned, closing her eyes at the memory. But then Karag had lifted her up and taken care of her. Again he had been there to tend to her and help her. 

He had heard her moan and woke up worried about her health. He leaned over silently to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. He then picked up the bacta he had been using last night and opened up some more to use to relieve some of the pain she was feeling. 

She sighed in relief. " Thank you Karag " she whispered, smiling softly from where she lay. 

" It's my pleasure Rey" he replied; returning to stand by her side, he lifted her slowly from the bed as she fell back asleep still exhausted from their all day and all night training session. 

He wanted to make sure that no one knew that she had slept in his room. For her sake and honor. He crossed down to the next door in the hall, Rey hovering over his arms, folded slightly as if he was carrying her. He opened the door to her room using the key he'd found in her pocket, let himself in and draped her onto her own bed. He folded the duvet over her, tucking her in as best he could. Then he placed her shoes by the door and took his leave.  
He would've loved to stay with her and get some more sleep, but it was midafternoon already, later the same day as the sparring session ended. He had training with the other knights in a few minutes. He'd let her sleep; she has training tomorrow morning, the least he could do is let her sleep. She needed her rest. 

He'd actually been happy with her progress. She might have seen the session as a failure, and well she's not wrong. But failure is a necessary experience to get better. She has now learned what not to do when fighting a master. So that next time she'll be stronger and she will get closer to successfully winning against him. It will take some time. But she has made great progress, just by tenacity alone. Just by not giving up, she has proved herself to be an excellent Padawan. 

 

\-----

"Where am I ?"She asked the empty chamber. This was becoming too common an occurrence; she kept waking up in a different place with no idea how she got there. Her eyes blinked adjusting to the dark room. Oh. She was back in her room. Makes sense. He probably moved her back to her room when the others were out. 

She flexed her arm testing it, and leaned up on her opposite side to turn on a lamp on her bedside table. The soft warm glow from the lamp cast a round circle of light across the corner of her room and bed. She studied her injured arm for a moment, admiring the healing yellow and broken purple as the bacta has accelerated the healing process. It only felt a little sore to the touch. And the rest of her body felt almost recovered. 

She rolled out of bed onto her feet. She'd never get used to the feeling of these fluffy carpets. She smiled to herself in the mirror on the fresher. Maker she looked terrible. Dried blood caked at her hairline and left eyebrow. The remnants of a bruise across her jaw. A couple bruises on her legs. Her knees a fucking mess still; they'd been left untreated, covered with leggings so Karag couldn't tend to them earlier.  
She drew herself a hot bath. She'd been dying to try this. She'd stuck to showers. Relaxing and hot and the most incredibly refreshing feeling she'd ever experienced in her life. Surrounded by falling water. She shook her head. She'd never get used to that. So much better than those sonic showers on Jakku. The Resistance had had showers but they alotted for 5 minutes only; military efficiency. 

Here she'd gotten into the routine of showering before bed every night. But no baths. She'd soaked her feet once after bruising her foot badly during one of her early training sessions, though. 

She found a bunch of bath supplies in the linen closet in the fresher. Gels, candles, bubble bath stuff. She opted for everything all at once. The result was amazing.  
Afterwards she felt wonderful. She even found a terry cloth robe with soft as feather lining to wrap into afterwards.  
She felt too relaxed to get dressed yet. She decided to cover herself in lotions and bacta, moisturized her face, blowed dry and styled her hair and meticulously cleaned and trimmed her nails and toes. She felt beautiful and more relaxed than she ever had. 

Slipping out of the robe, she stood in her dark chambers for a moment, enjoying the feeling of being pampered, clean, and home. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness after the soft bright lighting in the fresher and walked over to turn on the lamp again.  
She laid her robe on her bed and went over to her closet to pick out a rose colored bandeau and cream colored sweats and light grey Loose t shirt and fuzzy white socks. 

She was surprised to find an empty living room and kitchen. 

What time is it? She wondered, searching around her, she grabbed a nearby holopad. Nearly 11 PM. Everyone was in bed already. Shit. She'd slept the whole day. She shouldn't be surprised considering the night she'd had. 

She was pouring herself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen when she heard footsteps coming behind her. She didn't need to turn around to know who it was. 

Karag was about to crawl into bed, really looking forward to sleeping, when he felt her leave her room towards the kitchen. He wanted to make sure she was ok. He left his room quietly to not disturb his neighbors and walked over to see her. She had her back turned from her, dressed in light colored sweats. She looked better than he'd seen her last.  
" hey- "  
She turned on her heel to face him, smiling warmly in response.  
" want some ?" She asked, gesturing towards the cereal box on the counter.  
" nah I'm ok for now. Thanks though."  
" okay - " she shrugged, tucking the box back on the shelf.  
" how ya feeling?" He closed the distance between them, studying her face and arms. " the bruises look better"  
She nodded. " thanks again for um- looking after me last night" she looked down for a second, suddenly feeling shy. She'd never been taken care of before in her whole life. Letting go of control was hard for her, he knew. 

" Anyways, I'm gonna actually go have this in my room " She put the milk back and decided to have it dry. " I'm still tired and sore from last night"  
She walked past him, starting to head back towards her room. 

" Wait, let me go get you some more bacta, Rey. Hold on for one second -"  
Before she could protest he sprinted off back to his room. He came right back with his packets of bacta.  
" here, he said, handing the box to her. " use as much you need. Don't use it sparingly. Really smear it on. " 

" thanks !" She kissed him on the cheek, patting his chest.  
Night " She called softly to him as she closed the door. 

" night Rey," he whispered, smiling. He turned off the lights as he left back towards his room.  
Inside his room, laying in bed propped up on a few pillows, he grabbed his com to give a final report of the day.  
<< training went well. Jacob making steady progress every day. Rey recovered. No major injuries. Will take her for X-rays just in case tomorrow. She starts training again tomorrow at her regular time. I'll be training her all day. The knights will train separately. I'll break her so that you will only have to polish, master. She will be worthy of your tutelage>>

He was surprised to get a response back so quickly; << good.>>

<< night sir >> he responded, putting his com on sleep mode before turning off his lamp and setting his alarm. He was actually feeling excited about training. Tomorrow he'd rebuild her confidence and break her all over again. It was his process. It worked. Proven effective. He'd make no exceptions for her. He didn't make exceptions -even for his son. Why change a system when it worked?

\----

He was already at the sparring room warming up at 3:30. She'd read his note; " don't wait for me. Got up early. See you there. 3:30 sharp." 

"You're late" he barked, force pushing her off the mat when she'd warmed up to start the session.  
"Sorry master." She huffed, catching herself, recovering from the push.  
" Good, you didn't fall this time, " he teased, smiling wickedly at her.  
She didn't miss a beat, sending over a wave of power at him, frowning from concentration. He took a step back.  
Her eyes widened, she'd made him react. She grinned wickedly and tried to block his connection to her mind. She tried different combinations of the footwork he showed her as she circled him twirling her saber like a predator stalking its prey. She gracefully broke her cycle behind him, swinging his legs out from under him, twisting around him at the same time to hover the point of the saber directly over his neck, not close enough to singe.  
He gulped.  
"  
My point", she sang, pulling away to bow , looking very proud of herself.  
"Don't get cocky," he warned, jumping back to his feet to swirl his saber, fixing his stance as he had the night before. 

"I'm not. It's just - well, I won" she gloated, enjoying her moment of victory.  
"Yeah - once" he held up his pointer finger. " now all you have to do is repeat it " 

It took her several days to repeat it. She had been struck down enough times to know to study him as he moved, and to focus his energy push and focus it with her hands back at him. She'd seen him do it enough times. 

Again he fixed his stance and she attacked from above, directing her saber in a downward strike, switching to attack perpendicular to him at the last moment, aiming for his ear. He made a motion as if to flick her off, sending her falling backwards to the side. As she did she allowed his energy to move through her instead of against it as she usually did. This resulted in her spinning through the air onto hands and knees. She stood immediately and faced him, kicking her leg forward to the side hard against his stomach with the same energy he'd attacked her with. He stumbled, swearing. Before he was able to react, she was positioned with her saber against his throat  
" my point," she growled, glaring at him.  
" good," he wheezed, recovering slowly after the breath was knocked out of him. She stepped back, smiling. 

End of this portion of the lesson. We will practice again tomorrow with the knights. 

She bowed her head, pocketing her saber about to leave.  
" wait !" He called, dragging her forward till she fell on her belly before his feet. She looked up, her breathing still ragged from the fight. " one more thing before we go" she groaned as she stood, bruised and bloodied all over from fighting, a high pitch ringing in her right ear from getting thrown against the wall a couple hours ago. 

" what-" she breathed, clenching her teeth, her hands closing around the base of her saberstaff.  
" For the next hour, let's practice force lightning." Her eyes widened, terrified again as he fixed his stance and conjured steaks of blue across his hand towards her feet. 

She fixed her stance, returning the saber to her belt. She could do this. She could do this. She lifted her hand to copy his and felt the energy coming towards her. She studied the movement as in an instant the lightning was on her, caressing her hand and arm. She gasped, as the energy enveloped her, and pushed it outwards back at him. 

He responded in kind, turning its direction off to hit the far wall with a deafening crackle. The echo resonated around the room.  
" Good!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands madly. " Very good, my apprentice." Now you may go"  
She bowed low to the ground and realized that she was too tired to stand back up. She'd been pulling long hours with this man for days now. She sunk to her knees, clutching her arms to her chest, her head still bowed. 

He approached her cautiously and laid a comforting hand on her shoulders to help her back to her feet. He pulled her into a tight hug-ouch;" you did well today, you really did. Why don't you come back to my room and I'll help you with your injuries and then I'll bring dinner to your room, ok?"  
She pulled away to look at him and nodded, smiling weakly.  
" Good- my apprentice-" he hugged her again, sideways to him as he walked her back out of the room and all the way back upstairs to their quarters. She laughed, clinging to him as they walked. She was happy to have him in her life. To comfort her and confide in; to teach her and train her in the force. 

The days that followed were a mix of training with the knights and quick solo sessions with her master. 

All too soon it was the morning of her meeting with Master Ren. It had been what she'd been training a year for with the Knights and master Karag. She'd been practicing her skills both in combat and in the force hours every day. She was all lean muscle, her body fat even less than it was when she had arrived. She'd thought she was fit then; she was wrong. She could run faster, lift more, block more, and use the force more acutely than she ever thought possible. She knew she still had much to learn, but she was slowly getting there. She had made the knights respect her, Karag was pleased with her progress. And had set up the meeting with Ren. 

Karag gave her strict instructions on protocol the night before. To stand tall. To not show weakness. To look in his eyes, to never look away. Wear all black; long sleeved structured fitted shirt with a high stiff collar that dipped down slightly in the center in a triangle pattern and black leggings and boots. Black leather armwraps, and a thick red sash, a piece of fabric all the knights wore when they formally studied with their master. The sash also carried the saber on the right side, one inch from the first order insignia on the long folded sash around the waist. Her hair was pulled back on top; her hair could be worn any way she liked as long as it was out of her face. She used a black leather ribbon to tie it in place. 

She stood there staring at herself in the mirror of her fresher. She splashed some cold water from the tap on her face. She could do this. She could do this. She looked herself in the eye and said aloud;" you can do this." Her voice trembled; she rolled her eyes. Why was she nervous ? He was just a person.  
-use your hatred of him to fuel your power- she remembered Master Karag saying to her frequently during their sessions. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she harnessed all the pent up anger at him and her past and allowed the dark luxuriating power to strengthen in her heart and body. She breathed out, opening her eyes. The eyes that stared back looked wild and strong, faint yellow rimming her pupils, accentuating her hazel eyes. Karag had said that flecks of yellow could be seen in her eyes time and again, when she was readily allowing the force to flow through her. She smiled wickedly at the image; she'd never seen her eyes quiet so ... so bold and beautiful before; she was ready. 

She had to meet him alone. On level 40; his personal quarters, 10 stories up from their own. Between the floors were their tailors, greenhouses for their personal food phasma and Hux's quarters, storage and various fitness arenas for their private and shared use; all connected by two private elevator systems. One for the knights, one separate system for the supreme leader, Phasma and Hux. 

The knights and Karag and Jacob had all come out to meet her at the door. She'd been surprised that all the knights were men. James, Noah, Jackson, Milton, and Jacob made up the 5 knights. Karag was the 6th, and Kylo Ren was the leader and 7th Knight. There'd been one more Knight, Mika, who'd wished to join Kylo after the temple was destroyed, but she'd died a few days later from internal bleeding. Karag had told her this story one night at dinner; the pain he'd seen, the fear he'd seen in her eyes as she passed away in the infirmary. 

The knights grasped her arms and had a group hug and waved good luck, offering sound, practiced advice before she turned toward Karag and Jacob. 

Jacob embraced her, throwing his arms around her waist. " Good luck, he whispered, pulling away to lightly punch her in the arm. 

She laughed, returning the playful attack. She turned towards Karag, who'd agreed to ride up with her as far as he could go. 

" This year you have made great progress my friend and apprentice. I'll ride up with you, but remember there has been strict instruction that he wants to see you alone. I cannot disobey his orders" 

I know master Karag," she said, looking at him sternly to show that she understood and that there were no hard feelings. She stepped into the elevator with him, glimpsing the knights waving ecstatically smiling, goofily waving like mad as the doors closed. She chuckled. 

" The knights really do care about you," he chuckled, rolling his eyes at their silly behavior at this serious moment in her training. " I knew they would" he smiled at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

"Rey, look at me" she turned to stare at him, expecting some last words of wisdom before the elevator arrived at floor 40. He studied her face," "Your eyes look more yellow than ever, my dear" he smiled proudly, moving in front of her to clasp both hands on her shoulders, looking her directly in the eye for a long moment; " You have made amazing progress this past year and 4 months my dear. You are strong and tenacious. And smart and resourceful." He shook her lightly to make his point. " you can do this. You will do well, my apprentice. Believe in yourself and everything will go well - you'll see" 

 

" Thank you sir. Karag - master Karag, thank you" she smiled up at him, eyes beaming with pride and respect for everything he's done for her. 

A soft ding alerted the arrival at floor 40. "Okay," he whispered, pushing her forwards, "You're on."


	10. You.  Are.  Ready.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes ! He thought triumphantly as she opened her eyes to lock onto his, eyes yellow as the sun.

" Ok, you're on- " he whispered in her ear, pushing her into the hall before the door could close, not exactly gently. 

She didn't waver, just smiled at the closed doors for a quick moment before straightening her collar and tunic and sash, making sure she looking appropriate before walking the few feet down the barren dark stuffy walkway which stopped suddenly at the only door there. It was thick black metal, with a cold keypad to the left of it. She could barely make out the buttons. 

She was about to panic as she didn't know the codes for this floor just as the door yanked open. He must've known she was there, she reasoned, shrugging her arms as she walked confidentially down the new dark hallway which opened up into the grand throne room back lit by red interior and lights. Everything else was black marble and a large window taking up half the room on the left side. Looking down , she squirmed as the marble, before the throne area, only formed a 10 foot strip; the rest was a continuation of the window looking down at more parts of the destroyer below. The same with the other side. 

It was beautiful, she breathed. Terrifying; giving the appearance of open space. Although she knew it was all several foot thick see through hard material that would even protect against an attack from a ship. She sped up her pace, trying not to lollygag. After a couple minutes she arrived at the throne area. The red wall, cathedral style room has a shiny black ceiling, and matching marble; matched the hallway. Now that she was upclose, the red wall took up 180!degrees of this room, lit by the backlights and reflection of light off the surround destroyer towers. His thrown looked to be made of shiny leather padded obsidian, matching the dark decor. 

Master Kylo Ren sat patiently, his hand in a thinking position under his chin as he watched her approach She stopped looking around a foot after she entered, staring straight at him as she walked. She remembered what to do and did not let her eyes wander to the new Praetorian guards, now dressed in shiny black armor. 

She glared back at him as she approached. Only when she bowed at him did she look down. She bowed at the waist once and then knelt before him, staring at him, her saber lit horizontally in her right hand as Karag had shown her. She kept her shields up, barricading her thoughts as Karag had shown her; she had practiced them for months. 

Slowly, he stood, rolling his shoulders back. He walked down the two steps from his throne, his face stoic, unreadable. She knew better than to try to read his mind. Because when one force user reads another, they make themselves vulnerable by creating a (usually) temporary link between their minds. Instead, she studied his energy in the force. The tightening of his muscles, trying to anticipate his actions. Cool calm radiated from him, she was surprised to find. His muscles were relaxed. She realized, infuriated even more, Force she hated him, he knew he had won. She was his to teach and lead. 

He chuckled darkly, walking around her, studying her from every angle as she sat, saber still positioned in front of her horizontally. She knew better than to move, yet.  
" good-" he praised her, his lips breaking out into a right half smile as he stood again in front of her.  
She felt the attack before he moved, his energy pulsing down as she watched his stance change, similar to Karag's stance . He pushed her high with the force, trying to flip her on her back and knock the breath out of her. She breathed, prepared for the attack, and turned off her saber immediately just as she felt the energy change and push her high, rolling , spinning 5 feet to the side, landing catching herself on her knees and hands. She sprung up, standing to face him, saber again horizontal once more, perpendicular from her body held out before her, blades lit on either side, her breathing ragged from anxiety and focus, her teeth bared, clenched, glaring at him. 

" good - let the anger fuel your power" he purred, stepping towards her, across from her she stood as he again fixed his stance and this time thin blue hot lightning traveling down his arm and hand, pointer finger directing it outwards to attack her from above. Again, she breathed, feeling his energy pulsating outwards as he conjured the force lightning. She again turned off her saber once more, lifting her hand to push back and match his energy as the lightning traveled up her, again caressing through her body, burning back down her arm as she screamed, releasing the shock back out again back at him.  
He laughed aloud, his eyes bright with pride, "Knight Master Karag has done well to reach you" he growled, straining against the bolt of electricity returned his way, redirecting it to the far wall with a thunderous crack; she noticed poles hanging from the ceiling similar to the ones in the training room; the room was grounded, she realized. to prevent stray streaks from ricocheting off back at him when he trained and fought.  
She bowed; it was not time to speak yet. " come here " he commanded, dragging her to him, hovering, frozen, just above the floor till she stopped a few feet from where he stood. She stared at him, again bowing her head, she knelt on one knee before him as he released her, igniting her saber horizontally out from herself, showing her respect, as Karag had explained.  
She looked back at him, seeing him triumphantly watching her. She was his. She could feel his power resonating from him as he drew his weapon, atracking her saber from below. She jerked to her feet, positioning her feet as she pushed against his saber. New anger bloomed within her, releasing a scream as she pushed back, breaking the connection as she wielded her sword in long arcs and jabs, trying to one up him. Win just once (more). He was annoyingly calm still. His confidence fueling his attacks as he blocked every one of them. They fought like this, tiredlessly, for what seemed like hours. She felt like she was going to be sick, having to focus for so long, use his energy against him as he attacked mercilessly repeatedly, never giving her a chance to breath. She refused to give up. Every pain she felt, she used to fuel her power. Every memory, she used to add to her store of passion and anger. She'd forgotten long ago to keep the amethyst alive in her saber. She had made peace with her light. Not as weakness but as something that just was. Karag has taught her to use the light in life, and the dark in practice. Now her saber was as smooth and red and dark as fresh blood, and she loved the way the power of passion and anger made her feel. 

She screamed again, blocking an arching attack again towards her, meeting his saber again in a lock, their faces inches apart, both straining from the effort. Their breath hitched under the strain. The sabers cracked and hummed under the pressure. A cruel smile broke across his strained blank expression as he lifted his pointer finger again as blue sparks appeared once more across his arm and off the tip of his finger. She cried out, using what energy she had left to block the current, but it was too much. The current burned through her body, knocking the breath out her, she fell to her knees, tears springing to her eyes as she struggled against his saber against hers. He added force push, pushing her to bend further backward onto the floor, still kneeling as he continued to push his light sabers against hers and to push his force lightning. The sparks swirled around her arms; black spots dancing across her eyes. She remembered Karag had taught her; " use your pain. Use your anger. Dig deep. The power was always there; it there for you to use and to bend as you wish." She closed her eyes. Clearing her mind behind her steel barricades blocking Kylo from entering, although, force, it was painful to keep them up under his constant attack. She let herself be in pain. She let go of the struggle and fixed instead on the energy he was producing. The flow of it. How his passion and anger fueled him. She felt that he was stronger than her, but maybe she could just keeping trying. Just for now. 

She opened her eyes, screaming as she pushed back, confidently getting back on her knees as he continued his attacks. 

Yes ! He thought triumphantly as she opened her eyes to lock onto his, eyes yellow as the sun. 

Nwûl tash.

(Peace is a lie, there is only passion.); she didn't know where the words came from, but she felt that at this moment, they would help her survive. 

Dzwol shâsotkun.

Through passion, I gain strength.), he replied, nodding, understanding crossing his features. His eyes mirroring hers, turning deep yellow, "yes !!" He screamed, increasing his hold and lightning force onto her. 

 

Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk.

Through strength, I gain power), she replied, Lightning and pain flowing through her, giving her strength as she pushed up to gain ground again, getting back on her knees. 

 

Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan.

(Through power, I gain victory.) he chanted. Force, the flow the force was amazing right now, the pain from pushing so hard only helping him. He didn't care if she was gaining ground now. He knew, triumphantly, that in the long run, she is his. 

Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha., she hissed, slowly slinking gracefully up onto her feet, thriving now under the pain of the blue lightning coursing through her body, the force on her mind making it harder for her to see and feel anything at the moment.  
Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak. She took a step towards him; he took a step back.  
Wonoksh Qyâsik nun-" 

(Through victory, my chains are broken.

The Force shall free me.) 

She uttered last words of the Sith Code in a calm monotone as she used what remaining searing power she felt to force push him off his feet hard onto his back, releasing her from his stream of force and lightning and push on her mind and body. 

Her breathing came out in ragged gasps as she clutched at her chest, sinking to her knees by his feet, screaming from the release and pain as she tried to recover her breath. 

He gasped, his lungs filling with the air after the push had knocked the breath out of him. He sat up, clutching his own chest, and lifted up her chin in his hand. 

Quietly, he whispered to her between breaths- " you - are - ready." She sobbed another strangled breath and passed out, falling into him.


	11. Death and Circumstance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She turned to a Sith trance again which he followed into as well, enjoying the feel of their strength melding together. 
> 
> " Join me " he purred. 
> 
> " I already have " she pushed back. 
> 
> "No" he slammed into her. " Join me as leader of the galaxy."

Quietly, he whispered to her between breaths- " you - are - ready." She sobbed another strangled breath and knocked out, falling into him.

He caught her in his arms and lifted her as he had almost 2 years ago when he took her onto his ship for the interrogation. He limped off back to his chamber, trying to summon some of the strength he'd felt back there. That had been incredible. Even the Praetorian fight had paled in comparison to that- that- that sheer power! He looked down at her face as he walked. 

She was heavier than she'd been when he'd last carried her. Sheer muscle, he smirked. Karag had done well. Very well. Now she was finally ready to join him at his right hand as the new 8th knight, alongside Karag and Himself. They worked as a team; she was ready. 

He opened a secret door to the right of the elevator and used his handprint to raise the mock wall. Beneath was an obsidian door, made just for him; he'd been able to completely redesign the supreme leader quarters to his exact specifications; Snoke had never stayed here anyways. He was always at a safe undisclosed location. This was just because for .. well, because he could, I guess. Kylo has adopted it when he'd become supreme leader and burned everything. His new quarters matched the knight's exactly, except instead of a hallway with multiple doors to rooms, his living room opened up onto his bedroom and fresher directly. There was no view of space from his bedroom area. It was more cozy he thought to have it all painted cream, matching the white plush carpet. Everything was black and soft and plush in here too, the mahogany flooring accenting nicely. 

Karag had insisted he frame some pictures, so his walls and bedside were covered with framed pictures of his fellow knights. He'd rolled his eyes at the idea, but he begrudgingly actually thought it was quite comforting. 

He got her over the threshold onto onto one of the leather couches before getting himself some water and bacta for his arms and side and back and face, and for hers as well. Next he called in a medic, who commented how he was surprised she wasn't more injured after so much electricity had coursed through her. She was going to be fine - just sore for a few days with huge bruises and a few shallow cuts. He was the same too - less bruised than she was. And no cuts. Just a bruised back from where he'd landed when she'd thrown him. 

The medic has taken care of applying bacta to her body, and left a sealed report for her view later when she woke up. Kylo sat in one of the plush leather chairs across from the couch and sipped at his water as he thumbed through his holopad reports. 

"Mmmmm" she groaned, lifting a hand to her pounding head.

" Here" she heard a deep soothing voice utter, a cool compress on her forehead applied her her forehead. 

" thank you, Karag" she replied, too tired and sore to smile. 

" 's not Karag" the deep voice replied. She turned her face towards the voice, squinting her eyes open to see him. 

" oh-" was all she said, turning from him to close her eyes. Turning her head didn't help the pounding in her head. 

" You're not weak for being in pain-don't worry. You fought hard today. The medic just came in. You're fine. No internal injuries from my - the lightning. Your eyes aren't yellow now. You passed out from the strength of your Sith trance- anyone would've" he told her, honesty radiating through him in the force. 

" Yes, master Ren," she breathed. She believed him. She'd been training well, all her life actually and that'd been brutal. 

" Please, padawan Rey, call me Kylo," he whispered. 

" yes, Kylo," she smirked. Oww, it even hurt to smile. Fuck. She wanted to go home. 

" Karag is on his way here now," he stated, reading her thoughts. She stiffened. 

" ssh, don't worry. You're hurt. You will only hurt yourself further if you try to block your thoughts now. I will not hurt you when we are out of the session, I promise" 

She didn't have the strength for anything but nodding. He continued," You did well today. I am very pleased - I told Master Karag already. He's so excited, he's throwing you a party in your honor in your quarters in a couple days when you've recovered," he chuckled. 

She smiled at this, her eyes still closed, pressing the compress to her head still. Classic Karag. 

"Rey?" She heard another voice call, followed by quick footsteps to her side. She lowered the compress and smiled weakly up at him, " Hey Karag." " Hey Rey" he smiled back, studying her face and arms for injuries. 

" Her tests came back clean" Kylo interrupted, wanting to comfort his friend and fill him in. 

Karag breathed. " that's good news," he replied, smiling brightly at Rey as he tugged her shoulder gently. " yeah" she smiled back, looking at him her headache better now after the bacta and pills started to kick in. 

" She did very well today" Kylo said, walking a little closer to them, sitting on the end of the arm of the chair now as Rey drifted off again, now from relief instead of pain. 

Karag studied her sleeping face for a moment more before looking over at her master. 

" So, she did it ?" Kylo nodded. Karag was so proud of his friend and student. "I knew she had it in her" he commented, standing up and picking Rey up as Kylo has to take her back to her quarters. 

Yes " Kylo responded, nodding his head as he opened the door that led out to the knight's elevator for his friend. 

\-- yes, I knew she did, all along - he whispered to his empty quarters after the door was securely closed.

 

A day after the fight, Karag went into Rey's room to give her the good news. Master Ren was making her the new 8th Knight. The other knights had understood Kylo's reasoning; they'd seen her fight. And, after Kylo leaked the footage, there was definitely no question. Rey was up there with them, and had the right to learn and train under Master Ren and Master Karag. Rey was excited and felt proud of achieving such a title at such an early age. She was only 21 after all. The other knights ranged between 28 and 33, except for Jacob, whom was 15 now. 

\--

Now it was 2 days after the fight. The party had been fabulous, true to Karag's style. The cake had been delicious, dark chocolate with raspberry buttercream filling, with a white chocolate buttercream icing and red and white sugar roses dripping down across over the center of the cake. Piles of Big red balloons had literally covered the entire floor of the apartment. There'd been music and bottomless booze and then dancing and mock fighting and movies. To Rey's embarrassment, they'd played her fight with Ren on repeat, set on a zoom closeup, sound off on a big screen the entire party. They'd all sat on the couches and taken turns oohing and ahhing and commenting on her incredible form at the viewing before cake. Jacob especially had been freaking out about it the whole time, complimenting her the whole party, betraying her with questions. Now she really was his hero, he told her. He'd blushed when he'd told her. What a sweetheart ! Loved that kid. 

Towards the end of the party when most had drunkenly lumped off to bed, Karag and Rey had sat down together; Karag presented her with her own comm and holopad. " Up to date with all first order mainstream intel, higher up Knight reports, and contacts for myself and all the other knights. " The comm, "he handed her, "is for contact with Ren and fellow knights only. Otherwise, email is the way to go. Any outside communication is intercepted and read before going though" he gave her a look. " I'm trusting you with this, Rey." 

"Yes. master" she understood. He knew she wasn't associated or in line with the cause of the Resistance. But he knew she wanted to at least see how Finn and Rose were doing. and Leia. And Chewie and Poe. He wanted to keep her safe - she knew. She had no info she could share with them anyways, even if she wanted to. The knights didn't do the Order's bidding - just Ren's. They had separate quarters, separate everything. Rey only knew the secrets of the force and trade. That's it. 

She leaned over to hug him. " thank you Karag" she whispered. 

" you're very welcome my dear !" He exclaimed, standing up to stretch and go heard over to get another drink. 

" what'll it be now?" He asked, pointing at the bottles. " whiskey ? Gin? Vodka ?" 

Vodka" she replied, as if it was silly he even has to ask. 

" of course !" He replied, taking the whole bottle with him, laughing as she turned the whole bottle into her mouth. She stopped after a few gulps, falling into a fit of giggles as the effect of the alcohol kicked in. He scooted closer to her in the arm chair, wrapping his arm around her, he dragged her off the arm of the chair down close next to him. He took the bottle from her and took a couple swigs before setting it safely on the coffee table and pulling her close, swinging her legs over into his lap. This elicited more laughter from her. 

Now," he said, getting comfy in the seat, "less' rewatch this awesome fight -again!" He exclaimed, turning on the fight, sound set on low to not disturb anyone trying to sleep, before she could protest. "Nooo - she moaned, giggling, shielding her eyes with her hands" - " now rey ," he chastised playfully, " no- here " he took her hands off her face into his hands against his chest," look at you- " he pointed with their hands still clasped together " you are fabulous here." He turned his head to look at her, his face suddenly serious," seriously," he whispered, his eyes lingering on her lips a moment. 

I'm a little tipsy right now, she thought, but force did she want to kiss him right now. She liked him a lot. Cared about him, talked to her about everything. She loved his son as if he were her own, she loved him for everything he was. Well maybe not love, but certainly enough to want to kiss him and respect him and want spend time with him; I don't think I'll ever not want to see him, she thought for a moment, before deciding to take a chance. 

She took a deep breath to center herself before twisting to face him and gently holding the sides of his face. He eyes widened for a moment, gazing down at her lips again. He studied her expression for a moment ; she nodded. He gulped, closing his eyes as he brought his face closer to her's until their lips touched for the second time. 

The first time had been to reassure that, even though everything in her life was changing, he was going to remain a constant it as someone to lean on. The time it was different. 

She was reacting to his touch, and the kiss was lasting longer than a second. He honestly couldn't imagine life without her anymore. Her laugh. Her smile. Her strength, and company. Suddenly her hands were in his hair and she was straddling him, both fighting to bring their partner as close as possible. He leaned forward, hooking her legs around his waist and stood, holding her in place. He was fit too afterall, pure muscle. He walked them quickly other to his bedroom, opening the door open and closed behind them with the force. Safe inside his room, he pushed her gently onto his bed with the force. 

The next morning, Rey awoke first. She has a blazing headache. This was different from a force headache, she knew, and simply pushed the feeling away with the force. She sighed, taking in her surroundings. She was in Karag's room again? -- why was she -- ohh- she mouthed, remembering the events of the night before. Karag was on his side, facing her, breathing deeply, still sound asleep. Karag sighed happily as she traced her hand softly against his shoulder. Content, he wrapped his arm around her unconsciously. She let him, nestling her back against his body. She looked back to see it was 2:50 AM in the cycle. 

" Karag " she whispered, nudging his shoulder softly with her hand. 

Hmm?" He asked, smiling softly at her, his expression changing as he took in her worried expression. " what- what is it Rey ?" He asked, frowning until he looked over shoulder at the alarm clock and realized how late it was. Oh, shit. The knights would be up soon. Attachment, sexual/emotional anyways, was strictly forbidden between/ for the knights. 

" Quick- get up" he whispered, handing her his bathrobe and clothes bunched up. She quickly put on the bathrobe, tied securely and ran back to her room, clothes in hand. No one was around, so she was safe. Back in her own room, she decided to quickly get dressed and shower and head out, so that just in case anyone commented on hearing someone up, she could say it was her 'cause she couldn't sleep. Karag decided to get up as well. They usually ate breakfast together before the knights got up anyways. They'd always had slightly different schedules. The norm was : Karag and Rey at 3:30 training-9 training. Knights training 5:30-11 and then joint training 3-6. 

The next week, everything went back to normal. Rey was glad the medic had insisted on putting her on birth control when she'd first arrived and been vaccinated. It regulated her cycle and kept her safe, after the events after the party. Karag and she had kept their relationship almost completely professional after that. They were close as usual. No one saw anything different. The only difference was the chaste kiss they shared every morning and right before bed. But honestly no one would've been surprised by this either. 

 

\-----

 

 

12 days after Kylo's fight for Rey, he decided it was time to schedule another training session. 

<< good evening Rey >> \- Master Ren 

<< master Ren>> \- Rey 

<< session added: 0400 today; session will take all day. Dress following protocol >> \- Master Ren 

<< yes sir >> \- Rey 

 

Kylo leaned back in his armchair, satisfied. That had gone better than expected. I don't know why I was worried she'd refuse me... he shook his head. She's full of surprises. He realizes that she doesn't feel she has a choice, but baby steps, he thought, setting the comm down to make himself some dinner. 

-  
Rey ran to where Karag was reading on the couch to show him the message. 

" This is good, right?" She asked, sitting close to him to show him the message. 

" yes, Rey" he nodded. " it's great - great news ! " 

The next morning she arrived in uniform to his floor. Alone this time. She didn't feel she needed Karag to hold her hand this time. In a manner of speaking. She walked quickly, confidently down the window covered walkway towards the thrown room. As she neared she stopped. 

It was empty. 

" Master Ren?" She called, looking around. Only the cold Praetorian guards were here. She knew they weren't aloud to speak, but still. " hey, anyone seen Master Ren?" Still nothing. Okay, worth a try at least. She turned and walked back down the path. Next she tried Ren's personal quarters. It swung open before she knocked, revealing Kylo, dressed in his formal wear. 

" master Ren !" She exclaimed, kneeling before him her lit saber perpendicular to her body as a show of respect. 

" rise, Padawan; come with me " he commanded. She followed him into his room. He closed the door with the force and beckoned her to sit. She obeyed, choosing one of the arm chairs. She was surprised that the layout was basically the same as the knight's. She guessed they used the same designer. She didn't care, frankly, whatever the reason was. 

He noticed her observing his quarters. " used the same designed for the knights and myself. ". Ah. Well, there you go. She kicked off her shoes to sit cross legged in the chair. 

" good - get comfortable. I have some bad news, Rey" she was surprised he used such an informal tone and title for her. Worry splashed across her features. She didn't say anything so he continued," I know you don't hear much of the outside world nowadays, except for the basic reports and mainstream news." She nodded. He took a moment, swallowing hard. How was he supposed to tell her this ? He fidgetted in his seat. 

He's nervous ? She wondered, taken aback by this show of emotion. 

" I - just heard- about Leia and the Resistance" her heart sank. She tried hard to build up as much barricade so that no emotion reached him. He took in her stoic expression to be a sign of acceptance and loyalty. Although he sort of guessed she was using it as a defense mechanism, just as he had done for years to protect himself; still did, actually. 

" I had given orders a year ago to leave them alone. But Hux - didn't listen to my orders and disobeyed me. 5 months ago, the Resistance used their acquired ships, 6 at the time " 6!She thought, surprised, those anonymous supporters had really come through then... " to attack one of our smaller destroyers based near the rim. 25,000 of our men were killed in action. Our response was swift, effectively destroying every one of the Resistance ships." He wasn't about to tell her than one of the ships had survived. He'd felt Leia become one with the force. He cleared his throat, his voice cracking as he said, " I'm sorry." 

She took a deep breath. She knew this would happen. With her gone to join the Knights , and the Order the force it was. Still, she mourned for her friends. 

" My intel tells me they'd never stopped looking for you Rey" another lie. They'd claimed her dead when she hadn't been seen or heard from again after 4 months. 

Her eyes brimmed with tears. " you may go" he said, releasing her, opening the door for her with the force. 

She didn't move. She needed a minute. That's fine, he thought, extracting himself from the couch to grab himself a drink. 

" would you like a drink ?" He offered, holding up a couple clean glasses to her. She nodded; "yes, sir" she replied, starting to get up to help. He waved her off. 

He poured a few ounces into each and walked back to offer her one. " Corellian whiskey " he told her, dipping at his own glass, his ice cube clinking against the side as he lowered it from his lips. She sipped it- it numbed her lips; tasted sweet like sugar cane and burning butterscotch. It went down smooth so she took it like medicine and held up the glass for more. 

He chuckled, returning to the counter to bring the whole bottle back with him this time. He downed his and poured them both another round. 

" want to talk about this?" He asked. She shook her head. She needed some space. " Do you want to spar?" She asked, her expression turning into a wicked grin. 

" yes" he responded, much better idea. 

This time the sparring was different. She was not the personification of control he'd seen days ago. She wore her emotions on her sleeve. He didn't say anything. Let her cry it out as they fought. He pushed her, she pushed back. He saw what light she had dim until darkness broke through her aura, taking the last bit of amethyst from her blade. She turned to a Sith trance again which he followed into as well, enjoying the feel of their strength melding together. 

" Join me " he purred. 

" I already have " she pushed back. 

"No" he slammed into her. " Join me as leader of the galaxy."

"Yes, sir " she replied, falling to her knees, his saber stopping barely in time before he could accidentally decapitate her. 

" Rise and fight me then, Padawan. Master Rey Fight me. This is your inauguration" 

She looked up at him, getting back to her feet. " I will join you and fight for you, with you, Master Ren. As long as I live." She bowed her head and fought him. Because there was no alternative.


	12. A choice and Reconditioning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Fight me !!!" He screamed. She pushed at him weakly in the force. Of course he didn't budge. " fight. Me !!" He yelled again, pushing her up into the air and slamming her down on her bad leg. She ripped off the sash, putting pressure on her leg.

5 months later ...

She missed Karag and the knights. She missed Jacob. She'd been off ship with Kylo, recruiting young padawans for their force school since the day she agreed to lead with him. This was 5 months ago. She was made the official 1st Knight; there was a pecking order after all; the highest honor went to the 7th knight; Kylo. But she had more responsibilities, political responsibilities, and she was given a suite adjoining Kylo's. Force, how she missed Karag. But at least she was making a difference. She'd found out since, that one ship has survived. She'd been spending all her free time trying to stealthily mine people's heads for information. Any clue as to the ship's whereabouts. But nothing's come out so far. 

Ren and she have a purely platonic relationship. They both wanted that, she thinks. She knew that Knights weren't allowed to have romantic relationships. She guessed Ren was the same. He's said as much in the past year. He seemed to value her for her power, her mind, her strength. And to only want to possess her as a force user and to support her as part of his family. Along with the knights. 

Honestly she's never asked. Too afraid of the consequences or implications of the question if she did. 

Currently they were over on Jakku, of all places, searching for force users. Kylo and Rey theorize that there might be more ; she had been, why not others? 

 

The hot sun bore down on her back and Face as she rode on a speeder whipping through her old market place. Her face was wrapped in thin black linen, completely indistinguishable as her. She'd only been in her town for an hour when she felt a familiar presence in the force. It wasn't a user, just someone familiar. She stopped for a moment, closing her eyes, trying to reach out to discern who it could be. Finn? She gasped, leaving her scooter behind as she took off across the sand running as fast she could towards the signature. Under a stall, in the location where Plutt's dynasty once sat, trading portions for parts, was Finn, Rose helping him figure out the values of various scavenged parts. 

Finn?" She asked, her voice shaking, she unraveled the linen enough to show him her face briefly before covering up again. 

" rey ?!" He exclaimed before she froze him mid word with the force. All that came out was "Reh." She walked up to him, covering his mouth with her hand before releasing. "Ey" came a muffled sound beneath her hand. 

" yes, it's me " 

" What are you doing here ?" She asked, looking back and forth between Finn and Rose. 

" Come with me" rose said, gesturing for Rey to follow to the back of the tarped booth. 

\----

They'd been living here for months since the Resistance was destroyed, Rose told her. She'd broken down, crying then, telling her about about the fate of the rest of the Resistance. 

Rey had nodded, telling her she already knew. Rey was too conditioned to cry. She stood there, anger only fueling her power, unable to express how she'd felt. Death did not make her sad anymore. Not after what she'd done alongside Kylo. She'd mourned the Resistance in private for months. Moved on. 

" so, where the force have you been?" Rose asked, grasped Rey's arm with her hands. " well, it's a long story." Rose nodded, taking in Rey's black clothing. " that's what I assumed." 

Rey told her everything. She didn't know why. It's not like Rose had anyone to tell except for Finn. Everyone else was gone. She told her about Karag, how he'd lied to her, kidnapped her, and conditioned and trained her for over a year. How he'd been training her since they met on Jakku when he was posing as a Resistance soldier, actually. She told she about the duel with Ren. Both duels. How she'd slept with Karag and fallen for him. How she was out looking for force sensitives to rebuild the Sith with Kylo. 

Rose sat there after Rey finished, with nothing to say. Rey stared at her. Rose didn't make eye contact. She simply stood and walked out, leaving Rey alone for the rest of the day. Ren wasn't expecting her to return to the ship until tomorrow. She'd simply say the force sensitive snuck away during the night when she'd fallen asleep not strong enough to both with, anyways. 

Nightfall approached and Rose walked back after the shop closed, Finn close behind. He made sure their makeshift home was secure, cameras positioned on all sides to protect from intruders. They were protected by paid guards anyways, but you could never be too careful, Finn explained. 

"Tell Finn what you told me, Rey" Rose commanded, grabbing Finn's arm to pull him down beside her on the floormat. Rey stayed standing, and started her tale. 

Finn reacted similarly as Rose had. He didn't make eye contact with Rey for a moment. But he asked, " did you know?" She shook her head. " I only found out a few months ago that one ship had survived. I can't believe I found you both" she moved forward to hug them. Rose held up her hand," stop," she commanded, looking down. 

Finn cleared his thoat," does , um, Kylo know you're here?" He asked, his voice cracking as he said master's name. 

" no- well, not exactly. I told him I'd be out all day. I thought I recognized a signature here. I thought it was a force sensitive. I never could've imagined it was yours I was sensing" her voice broke. She wanted to hug them. Again, this time he held up his hand to stop her. 

" I think you should go" Rose said, anger and hurt written on her face. 

" wait " Finn, said. Rose glared at him. " I think I'd like to help you, if you even want the help." Rey blinked. Help? 

" I was in the order once before. I know what conditioning looks like." He pointed at her feet, " you haven't once asked for anything. To sit, to eat or drink. You haven't once showed emotion on your face. You bury it to look stoic, right ?" Her eyes widened; she nodded. 

"You are wearing all black. That red sash, I know that look. I've seen pictures of the knights before. I know what they are."

She knelt before them, brandishing her weapon; she turned it on, turning it horizontally perpendicular from her body. 

Tears filled Finn's eyes. " That's how you show respect, isn't it" he asked, standing. She looked up at him, " isn't it ?!" He repeated, close to screaming;" yes," she replied sharply, shutting off her weapon as she sat back cross legged, mechanically putting her weapon back in her sash. 

" take off the sash" he commanded. She frowned. Why? 

" I said, take it off- it's just a sash, right?" He asked, his eyebrows raising trying to make her listen. 

She rolled her eyes and slowly unwrapped the precise folding of the sash. Carefully she folded it properly and laid it on a clean surface nearby, setting the saber down diagonally against the fabric. 

It was Finn's turn to roll his eyes. " Now take off your shirt" he commanded. It was Rose's turn to look shocked, snapping," Finn? What the fuck- why are you asking Rey to take off her shirt." He held up his hand; " she has leisure wear under there - dont you, Rey ?" She nodded. She unbuttoned the dark high necked collar of the shirt, and pulled it over her head. It revealed a white blousing undershirt with a rose colored bandeau underneath. "You can take off your shoes too Rey." She nodded, slipping out of her standard first order shoes, stretching her sore feet. 

Rey broke down, crying, she hugged her arms to herself and sobbed, tears running down her face, her nose and eyes a mess. 

" rey !!" They exclaimed, immediately moving over to hug her. " welcome home, Rey", Finn whispered against her back. 

\-----

An hour later , they'd made a plan to take Finn and Rose's ship to head for Ach-to. They packed up their stuff and grabbed some extra food for the trip. It would take a few days to reach the planet. The order had never seen Finn's ship before cause it was new so there was no way to really track it. They took off on Rey's speeder, her face again wrapped in black linen. She couldn't risk anyone else recognizing her. She'd left the sash, tunic and shoes behind; now she only has the saber. She'd told them it wasn't really an order thing. It would turn amethyst overtime, she claimed. It was blood red now form the dark side. But this wasn't permanent. They'd nodded, trying to understand. Finn claimed he'd understood. It's a weapon- like a blaster. Rey's nodded. Basically - yes. 

The ship was hidden inside the old Resistance base. She took a moment to think back to her memories here. But most of them involved Karag, so she shook herself, trying to focus on getting out of here instead. The ship roared to life, smoothly ascending into the air. 

" everything is about to change " Finn states, forcing the ship to light speed. 

" yes," she states, distracted by the calls to her through the force from Ren. " yes, it is" 

" It's him, isn't it ?" Finn asked, looking over at her, a mix of worry and fear etched into his face. 

She nodded. “ it's all of them, actually”. He gasped. She reached her hand up to rub her temples. It was the worse headache she'd ever experienced. She'd never had more than one trained force user try to force into her mind before. She clutched her temples. She stood, bowing her head into her hands, falling to the ground on her knees. 

 

"Ah!!!!!" She screamed. Finn and Rose sat down beside her, trying to offer support by speaking her name calmly to her, rubbing her back as they did so. 

She couldn't. She wasn't strong. Enough. She screamed out loud again; she felt as a trail  
of blood trickled from her nose. It was too much. She released, opening her mind, allowing the attackers to infiltrate her mind. They could've killed her if they'd wanted. They could've shredded her mind. But they didn't. They back off right away, allowing Karag's signature to search first, the rest following after. She threw up on the floor of the shuttle, breathing ragged as she stood on hands and knees, head lolling forwards as she tried to catch her breath. They searched for a few moments before they left, as quickly as the attack began, it was over. 

Rey... she heard a faint whisper in her mind, entering alone this time. It was Ren. Rey ! Another man's voice commanded; Karag, she realized. Ren's presence left to let them have a sort of moment alone. " come home " the voice said. She didn't respond. Instead, she showed him memories of their time together and then what had happened on Jakku. 

She felt so conflicted. It was too painful to hear his voice after so long, after all that'd happened. She sat up finally. Rose had run off to get a droid to clean the floor. Finn was there with her still, running circles into her back. Finn sat back a bit when she straightened, unsure of what she was gonna do next. 

" Come home" the voice repeated, yanking forward the memories of their night together. The laughs they'd shared. She realized she was sobbing. She hugged her knees to her as Finn tried to push back the hair from her face, dabbing with a damp cloth to clean up the blood and stuff off her mouth and nose. She leaned over against his chest, clinging to his shirt as if clinging to a life raft. 

" shhh shh shh shh, it's going to be ok, Rey," Finn whispered. " I promise. It's going to get better." 

 

When she awoke next, she was in Luke's old hut on Ach-to. The hut was warm on the inside, heated by a small stove in the corner, the clay bricks perfect insulation against the harsh wind and rain. The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the soft patter of rain against the window panes, the wind rustling the grass outside and pushing against the outside of the hut. She rolled over, hugging the warm think blanket to her body. She closed her eyes again, trying to fall back asleep to escape the memories that haunted her from her past. 

" Rey?" Her eyes cracked open, looking out from the top of her blanket towards the door, she saw the outline of a man dressed in black staring at her. She gasped, sitting up, holding her blanket tightly to her. 

" Karag?" She breathed, fear and adrenaline and weirdly relief spiking through her. 

"Oh, Karag! " she cried, jumping out of bed scattering the blanket on the floor as she ran in her bare feet to meet him the couple feet to the door. 

" Rey!" He cried, wrapping her up in a tight hug; he lifted her quickly and carried her back to bed, cradling her in his arms.

She nestled closer to him. Worried that she was cold, Karag leaned them down slightly to retrieve the the blanket from the floor with one hand, pulling it over them both as he settled them backward on the bed, holding her between himself and the wall. He kissed her neck and face as she tucked her head between his neck and shoulder, enjoying his warmth. Nothing more needed to be said, for now, for either of them. They lay there for the rest of the night, holding each other. Rey slipping in and out of sleep, but Karag couldn't, he was so happy to have found his Rey. 

She needed to go back with him, He reminded himself as he stroked her hair with the tips of his fingers. She'd been easy to find. He'd already been there once before; a one night layover, he remembered, before he took her to Hoth to rebuilt her saber. She must've known he'd look for her here, he reasoned. If even she'd forgotten, some part of her must've known he'd never stop looking for her. 

Morning came, and he picked her up in his arms to carry her to his ship. She did not resist, instead tucking her face against his chest to stay warm in his arms. 

" No!!!" She heard Finn scream, heard a few footsteps towards them; Karag stopped. A shot was fired, and she heard a body fall to the ground. She felt in the force in a panick. Alive. Just in a force sleep. He'd wake once they were gone. Finn must've left his hut and seen Karag leave, Rey tucked in his arms. Finn'd run after them only to be knocked out by Karag's force sleep just before Finn'd tried to fire a shot; the shot had misfired, firing into the air instead. 

Rey could sense that Rose was up now as well. She'd probably heard the shot, she assumed. And then ran outside to lean over Finn, checking to see that he was alright. Now she was watching, her eyes full of hatred, as a beloved Resistance hero who was actually a spy and a dark side force user, a knight of Ren even, carried Rey up a first order ship's gangplank into the ship. 

Rey nestled closer still as Karag sat down with her still in his lap, in the pilot's seat. He was alone, she felt. He quickly set the ship up to take off, pushing the gear to light speed after they'd cleared the island. 

Alone, protected by the streaking blue of lightspeed, Karag stood from his chair and carried her back into the small pilot's sleeping quarters in the back. He laid her down on the small bed as gently as he could, and wrapped a rough warm quilt over her. 

" Rey" he spoke finally, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed. Her hands clung to his hands, her eyes still closed. Hmm?" She asked , snuggling her head deeper into her pillow. 

" Rey- " he started again. "Rey- when we get home Ren gave strict orders for your reconditioning." She stiffened. 

" You will have to complete the training all over again." She allowed the tears to roll down her checks, wetting her pillow under the side of her face. He didn't try to wipe them away. 

" Then and only then, will you train with Ren once more, and then you will be a knight , only. You will not rule with Ren again." She relaxed then, trying to pull him closer to her again. He gave in, allowing her curve herself over and around him. 

"Rey-" he whispered, pushing her back with his loose hand, extracting himself from her arms for a moment to look her in the eye. To make her listen. 

" You are on probation now. Know that the only reason you're alive is because Master Ren wants your power under his control" 

She pulled away at this, glaring up at his face. "No." She replied. 

"No?" He pulled himself away from her to stand facing her as she sat up on the bed. 

"No." She said simply. " I want YOU. I want a family. I wanted to learn about the force, and I have, and will continue to throughout my life. But no, " she shook her head vehemently, " I will not serve him again." 

He knelt, taking her hands in his. "Rey" he shook them as he spoke. He shook his head. 

His torn turned from pained to resolute, he released her hands, her hands tied in loose shackles that were resistant against the force. 

He stood, his eyes darkening as he made to his mind to follow orders once more. " You do not get to make that choice" he whispered, his voice harsh, clipping his words as he spoke. He turned and took his leave back towards the cockpit. 

She curled into a ball, clutching her bound wrists to her chest in a fetal position on the bed. She would not cry, she tried to convince herself as her eyes brimmed with tears. She hated herself as one tear dared to escape. Turning her head, she screamed into the pillow. 

It wouldn't help, she reprimanded herself. It wouldn't help. The only option was to serve Ren again. She'd never had the choice before, of what she'd do with her life. And she still didn't. She groaned, awkwardly punching the pillow that sat under her head with her bound hands. Calm yourself, she thought, trying to comfort herself as she'd done a million times before. She took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it slowly into the cool air in the cabin. She felt herself center, and repeated the practice several times until she felt calm enough to breath normally and think more rationally again. 

About an hour passed when she felt the ship hault to a stop. Her breath hitched; she knew what would happen next. Karag joined her in the cabin, pulled her up by her bound wrists onto her feet, and led her pff down the plank onto the knight's private landing pad. She kept her head down, her wrists pulled in front of her. A single officer stood guard by the elevator. He saluted the Knight, stepping aside to press the button to open the doors. Karag nodded at the officer, yanking Rey behind him forward into the elevator shaft. Rey stood there, slightly behind Karag, willing her face to remain stoic. 

" Your mental shields, Rey" he commanded roughly, still looking straight ahead at the elevator doors. She cringed. I'd forgotten, she cleared her throat, closing her eyes to center herself and fix the cracks in her barricades. She remembered every lesson Karag had ever taught her. Satisfied with their efficiency, Rey opened her eyes, nodding at Karag. He did not respond. 

The awkward silence extended until they had entered the cool dark Knights quarters. The ding seemed deafening this time. She cringed, leaning back against the cool metal of the elevator. If her noticed her fear at that moment he pretended not to. He grabbed her bound wrists without ceremony, pulling her forward down the strip of wooden flooring until they'd reached her door. He waved the door open, pushing her inside, and closed it tight, this time locking her in from the outside. He knew she could just open the doors with the force, but he had done it anyways, a symbol of her imprisonment. 

She dropped to the floor when the door had closed, her head and arms pressing it against, she let herself cry, the silent tears dropping from her face onto her arms as she hugged herself to the door. 

She was a prisoner in her own life. The first time, even though she'd been taken against her will, she'd at least known that she'd have Karag and Jacob. And slowly the Knights has become a sort of family to her as well. She'd never actually felt like a prisoner. Until Finn has pointed it out. How she'd been conditioned, trained and manipulated into following orders and pleasing Kylo Ren with her ability in the force. I think that the reason I'm actually crying, she reasoned, is because it's actually going to be like nothing has changed. Routine will go back to normal tomorrow morning. In a year I will face Ren again, and then After more time, he will ask me to help him built his school again. It will be like nothing's changed, even though really everything has. She's realized how much she's been manipulated. How she'd actually never had any control on any of this. She's been a pawn for the force, for the order, for Kylo. 

 

She was wrong. Sort of. Months passed and routine had returned back to normal immediately the next morning after she'd arrived. The cuffs has unlocked at midnight 4 hours she'd arrived, giving her a chance to shower and prepare for the next morning. 

When she'd woken up to dress at 0300, she'd been surprised to find that all her light colored leisure wear was gone, replaced by all black versions. Including the bandeaus and undergarments. Three formal uniforms had been hung on hangers to the left, starched and ironed to perfection. 

Training was intense as usual. Jacob was the first to fight her. He'd become a fiercer opponent since they'd fought last. Or maybe she was weaker. She didn't know. It took weeks to win successfully against him. 

The months that followed, she trained hard with each Knight, working her way up under Karag’s tutelage until her skills again matched the 5th knight. 

 

Journal entry. Month 6 since i've arrived back at the knight's quarters for the second time. Karag has kept his distance. I miss him. I miss his smile, his caring side. He acts cold towards me now, ever since our trip back from Ach-to. He only talk to me at training session now. And even then it is only harsh criticism, advice, and commands. I no longer have a different schedule from the knights. The knights have changed their schedules to match mine; Kylo's orders, I suppose. Every day; training starts at 3:30 AM. Ends at 9-11:30 for lunch. Then resumes at noon-5. At least my relationships with the other knights hasn't changed... it's always been more professional than anything. Even Jacob has started to warm up to me again. We've studied together, talked openly, especially in the last 3 months or so. But Karag- it's like our relationship has been irreparably changed forever. He treats me like the other knights, actually. Professional, cordial, friendly, but not like he used to be with me. Force, I miss him. Tomorrow I will fight Karag again. 

Plan: 

Up at 3 

Dressed and out of room by 3:20 for breakfast. Eat wit the knights. Leave for training by 3:30. The knights will all sit against the wall like the first time, to watch my lesson with Master Karag. He doesn't respond to my calling him Karag anymore. Just master or Master Karag or sir. Maybe it's always been like that. Maybe I've just always been blinded by my trust and infatuation for him? I'm not sure. 

Until we speak again 

Rey --- 

_________________________

 

You're late," he scolded sharply, his arms folded in front of him. He was standing on their training pad; he'd made sure to arrive before his knights and Rey had. He wanted to make this more difficult for her. she needed more discipline, he'd reasoned. She needs to respect us. To understand the importance of what we're doing here. 

"Sorry, sir," the Knights and Rey responded in unison, bowing their heads as they walked in and stood in a line before parting ways; they sat by the wall, Rey walked up the step onto the training pad. 

Gods, she hated this room, she thought grimly as she looked around, glaring silently at the order insignia on the pad. Focus, Rey, she scolded herself, grabbing her double sided saber from her sash to wield it horizontally lit before her as she knelt before her master, eyes seething with rage as she stared up at his blank expression. 

Everyone has dressed in their formal robes today. As a trained master, Karag's ensemble featured a longer black tunic, with a slit that broke off at his waist for easy mobility, and trailed over his legs. Beneath were dressy black fitted slacks, tucked neatly into black. Boots, and a black shirt, similar to the one the other knights wore, with a black high starched collar, triangular slit in the middle. The red sash was folded tightly with symmetrical folds around his waist, synching his long tunic. A thick black cloak completed the ensemble, attached with thick pins and a small stitch that could be easily removed at the shoulders. He wore thin black leather fitted gloves, to amplify his grip on the saber. 

The others wore the traditional clothes of the Knight, identical to what Rey had worn to face Master Ren. 

Rey, however, was not ready for the clothes yet, according to Karag- Master Karag, she reminded herself. She was not worthy of them, yet. She'd instead been instructed to wear the uniform set in the far left of her closet. It was a red uniform, completely red. It was the symbol of a Sith padawan, she knew from her texts. It was identical style to what the knights wore, only all in red, with red sash to hold her saber in place. Only the boots were black. And she'd been asked to braid her hair back. And to darn black eyeliner on her top eyelids. 

She was instructed not to look up until he spoke directly to her. To hold her saber as she had when showing her respect to Master Ren, to show her respect to Master Karag. 

Master Karag stared at her for a moment, before lighting his saber, whirling it around his hands as he stalked around her. A moment passed, and he stood again before her. 

" Extinguish your saber" he instructed, his eyes beginning to change to a cruel yellow. She blinked, but obeyed, immediately extinguishing her weapon, holding it unlit horizontally in front of her. " Do not fight me" he commanded. She stared at him. She could feel the other knights glancing quickly at each other, unsure of what was going to happen. She'd come to duel him. Hadn't she?

" Lay down your weapon and stand up." She laid her saber down on the pad, feeling almost naked without it, and stood, her hands rubbing the sides of her pants, unsure of herself suddenly, without a weapon on her hands. 

" Today, you will fight me without a weapon." She just stared back at him, nodding. Do not show fear- she reminded herself- she willed her face to be more stoic. Even though on the inside she was terrified. He was a master after all. With many more years of experience and training than she had. 

" On my mark" he yelled, brandishing his weapon once more. She yelped as he changed, bringing his saber down to strike her. She jumped, ducking out of the way just in time to avoid decapitation. Smirking, he repeated the gesture, hacking his sword at her repeatedly as she ducked and jumped and ran from him around the mat, trying to well, survive. Forget winning against him. She felt his energy. He wanted to harm her. Not kill, but maim if need be. 

" Use- any - knowledge you have, Rey- to - get out of this one alive" he growled, as he struck forward out at her, his complicated footwork and strikes almost dizzying. She ducked from an arial strike, spinning on the ground, forcing the saber to strike the pad as she narrowly escaped to the side. She jumped from flat on her back to her feet so she could keep an eye on him, and ran to the other side of the mat from where he stood, to face him once more. She bowed her head, and faced him, dragging as much anger through her as possible, she drew up her hand to conjure a long strand of lightning down her arm. She hasn't done this in months, by she doesn't feel afraid of it anymore, she realized. Right now I only feel adrenaline and anger. She struck out with it, twisting it outwards towards him. Usually in the past she's just let out the stream, just trying to get it off her. This time she reveled in the pain, pushing it out away from her, trying to control its path as she aimed for the hand wielding the saber. The Lightning caressed around his arm, sending shocks of pain across his wrist. He yelled out in pain, dropping the weapon in the process. 

Ha !" She yelled, a smirk breaking out across her face, she stopped the lightning, she couldn't keep it up anyways, she didn’t know how to extend it past a few seconds. This was the longest she had even been able to control it, she though triumphantly, reaching out to call his saber to her. It wouldn't obey. She tried again, straining to make the saber react. It held firmly in place on the floor. Ok, fine. Instead, she fixed her stance and tried to lunge forward in a sprint to kick him in the gut. He grabbed the saber and ignited it, cutting into the side of her leg as she hit his chest. It didn't go all the way through , but the cut was deep enough that it would definitely need stitches, immediately. She yowled out in pain, tenderly surveying the damage. Karag swung again, cutting into her arm. 

" Fight me !!!" He screamed. She pushed at him weakly in the force. Of course he didn't budge. " fight. Me !!" He yelled again, pushing her up into the air and slamming her down on her bad leg. She ripped off the sash, putting pressure on her leg. Black spots were forming in her vision. She knew she didn't have long before she passed out. Fuck it. She reached out her hand and pulled her saber to her free hand, turning it on to block his saber, just in time as he aimed for her neck. She cried out, willing herself to have the strength just for a few more minutes to get this man to stop attacking her. 

" Karag" she pleaded, her stoic expression breaking into a plea, her mouth turned towards in a grimace. He took a step back for a moment, his eyes changing for a moment back into their amber color. 

" please, Karag" she repeated, begging for her life now. The last thing she saw was his saber coming down to burn further into her leg. She cried out in pain, sobbing as she collapsed the rest of the way onto the floor, unconscious.


	13. Stitches

The other knights looked shocked as Karag surveyed the room. Everyone wanted to know- why?

" why?" Karag asked rhetorically. He felt them fidget. " Ren wanted me to test her. To give her unbearable pain to punish her for deserting." He looked down at the girl, " now," he motioned for Jacob to join him on the platform ," now, she knows what that price is-." They nodded solemnly. They understood. There were consequences for disobeying orders. The fact that she was still alive was a testament to her will to live and the importance of her power to the Knights and to the Order. " Jacob, lift her up with the force and take her to the medic upstairs" Jacob obeyed his father, lifting her into the air as gently as he could as he put pressure on her leg with the soiled sash she'd been using when she passed out. " the rest of you, head over to the platform now, it's time to continue your own training for the day." They stood, obediently walking up to join their master on the training pad. They were silent, each willing themselves to remain strong, stoic; the trained soldiers they had been trained to be. 

Jacob took one more look at his father before leaving the room, Rey hovering over across his arms. He ran to the elevator as fast as could without jostling Rey, pressing the button with the force. He alerted the medic on his comm; " Rey had been seriously injured. Deep saber cuts on her leg and forearms. In need of immediate medical attention- immediately." He stepped in the elevator. " right away sir, we'll be ready." The ride up was the longest in his life. He could feel her signature fading. She was in bad shape. She'd bleed out soon if she wasn't treated. They were met right at the door to the elevator by medics wielding a stretcher, Iv for a blood transfusion, and fluids. They took her from him, laid her in, and wheeled her to the next room, where their supplies were set up. He sat there on the floor by the elevator for the next couple hours until a medic came out to speak with him. " she lost a lot of blood" Jacob nodded, " but she'll be fine" the medic smiled at the young man. Jacob smiled, relieved. " thank you doctor." She nodded, and walked back in to continue to work on her patient. 

Rey received several biodegradable stitches on her leg and arms. When she awoke, she felt groggy from the anesthesia. She was in a white disenfecfed room, dressed in a gauzy white hospital robe. " oh! " she heard a woman calmly exclaim," you're awake ! Rey, you're safe. You're in the hospital wing. You've received several stitches on your arm and leg. You were very lucky... we had to surgically repair your leg, but you will not lose it, thank the maker. But we use the strongest bacta available here in the knights wings, just for this type of thing" she continued on for a moment, commenting on Rey's physical state. Rey tuned her out after that. She was fine, but her heart was broken. She'd always known that duty was the most important thing to Karag. But being physically injured by him was completely different. He'd seemed completely indifferent. He'd Wanted to hurt her. He was simply following orders. Didn't she mean anything to him anymore? Tears trickled from her eyes down her cheeks.  
" Rey?"   
"Yes ?" She croacked. 

" let me help you sit up, dear. And then I'll go get you some water and we can talk some more, alright ?" 

Rey nodded. 

Just then the hospital wing doors swung open, banging back against the wall. A tall man entered, his cloak sweeping against the sterile floor. 

" Master Ren!" The woman at the entrance, taking a step back to avoid the doors," how can I be of service to you,sir?" 

Rey couldn't see him from how she was laying, but she could feel worry and anger burning off him in waves. 

" I would like to speak with Rey for a moment" she nodded. " just allow me to help Miss Rey sit up to get a bit more comfortable and then you can- "

" no" he interrupted. She bowed again, taking her leave from them into another room. 

Rey, you need to stop crying- she reprimanded herself silently. Her breath hitched as she heard him walk towards bed. He stopped right at the side of the gurney, staring at her, his expression unreadable. She sniffled. Shit. She stared back, hoping that her expression was as stoic as his. She couldn't. She - she - Karag had - has - she broke down, sobbing, wishing she could turn away so he wouldn't be able to see her cry. 

She tried to look away, but felt an energy shift from him, and stared back again as he raised his hand, using the force to slowly gently pull her head and shoulders up into an upright position just enough to prop up a few pillows he found on a nearby chair in place behind her. He released her back against them. Now she was able to really see a better look of him and her surroundings. Medical equipment beeped around them. There was a white curtain dividing what must've been a larger room in half, giving her some privacy from the rest of the hospital room. 

Then she stared again at Kylo, who hadn't stopped staring at her. She fidgeted under his steady gaze, trying hard herself not look away, afraid of seeming weak in his presence. Rey played with the wrist band on the arm still connected to an IV, before deciding to simply rest her free arm by her side. 

" thank you, Master Ren," she finally spoke, tired of the awkward silence between them. " for the pillows- thank- thank you helping me get more comfortable" she tried a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace, her voice still distorted from crying. 

He looked terrible, she noticed, taking in the dark circles under his eyes, his hair lanky from sweat form training, long tendrils across his forehead. He was in leisure wear, as well. Just a black basic T- shirt and long black sweats and boots. He'd come directly from his quarters before showering, she realized. He'd come directly to see her. What was happening?

Kylo's eyes widened slightly- he'd never seen her smile before. Although it was really more a grimace - she'd probably still in pain, he'd call the doctor back in to get a nurse to apply more bacta in a few minutes. He looked around quickly, grabbing a fabric covered wheeled stool to him with the force from across the room. It bumped across the gurney gently, before resting next to where Kylo stood so he could sit comfortable and talk with Rey for a moment. There was something he needed to say. 

The smile/grimace was a good sign, right ? Yes, he told himself, taking in her taking him in for a second. He'd take it. He needed to ask her something. 

" Rey-" her eyes widened, he hadn't addressed her so casually in a long time. " Rey" he started again," I would like to Propose something to you" good start. This was going pretty well, his fist tightened in his lap. " come to my quarters, wear what you like, and we will discuss the matter over dinner at 8:30PM".   
" yes" she immediately replied, without thinking. It was more of a command than a questions, but it surprised her nevertheless. Usually he was very blunt. Expected his orders to followed directly or there would be consequences. This was different. He almost seemed, nervous ? 

Yes? She'd said yes? Ahem, good. He nodded. " good," he said, his face unreadable again. He stood up, moving the seat back into place where it had been before by the wall, and took his leave. 

A nurse came by a moment later, tripping over himself to apply more bacta to her leg and arms. Master Ren had that affect on people, she smirked. He must've sensed she was in pain and told the nurse to apply more bacta immediately. " nurse, what time is it now?" She asked. " Let's see," he said, rolling up his sleeve to look at his watch. " it's quarter till 7 miss". 

" Oh. thank you". He nodded, smiling at her before leaving her once more. An hour and 1/2. Would she be ready by then to move? She'd have to come in a wheelchair. 

8:00, they ok'd her to go back to her quarters. She used the force to wheel herself onto the elevator and then the short distance to her room.

Jacob was there waiting for her still at the elevator. He'd jumped to his feet and ran to her when she'd approached; why was Ren there? What did he want? How are you? How do you feel? She'd sighed and explained as much as she knew. She was fine. She was hurting but it could've been worse. No, she didn't need help. She had the force to push her along. He'd understood, nodding along as she spoke. He'd have been the same way, wanting to feel independent and push himself if he was able. As for Ren, she'd simply said he'd asked her to see him tonight. She left out the dinner part. She didn't know what was going to happen. If he had good or bad news. Last time it had been terrible news. And then he'd asked her to join him. And then she'd left. And then he'd ignored her for a year, and then ordered Karag to punish her in front of the other knights for deserting. Only time would tell. 

Jacob had left her once safely outside her room, hugging her gently before going into his own room to read and play on his holopad. She still loved that boy- such a good egg. 

Too tired to use the doorknob, she used the force to yank it open. She didn't care if it banged against the wall, she was tired and sore and frankly did not give a damn right now. She closed the door behind her with a tight click, and got herself over to her closet to picked out a loose pair of lightweight blAck cloth sweats with a string tie, and a black T-shirt and a dark blue knit fitted cardigan that was her favorite, and black slippers. She was sore. She was going to be comfy, ceremony and formality be damned. 

She was happy that everyone seems to be out right now. Master Karag must be working them all pretty hard today, she realized, trying to calm her hair a little, pinning it back on top with a new leather tie. 

She wheeled herself in the elevator, floor 40. She stared at her dark reflection on the elevator door in front of her. She looked exhausted, bruised chin, dried blood on her forehead and eyebrow. Small bruise under her left eye. Eh, I've looked worse, she shrugged. She'd never been one to care about appearances anyways. 

A soft ding alerted her out of her thoughts. She started to wheel forward towards the door and stopped at Ren 's feet. Master Ren- Kylo? Whatever, Ren was standing right in front of the door, she had to stop suddenly so she wouldn't bump into him. Without a word he walked around her and pushed her gently into his quarters before she could resist. She crossed her arms over her chest, a little annoyed, only to remember that she was injured there too. Fuck, ow, she thought, lowering her arms back into her lap. I forgot. 

Inside, Kylo veered them off to the right towards the long sleek glass covered table. He removed one chair near the end to the side, and wheeled her in place, before sitting down next her on the same side. She was surprised he hadn't taken the seat by the head of the table. But maybe this was the theme of the day - unexpected surprises. Karag was acting like a dick and Kylo was- a gentleman? Weirder things have happened, but any more changes and she'd freak out. What was happening?

They sat there staring out the floor to ceiling window in front of them for a couple minutes, both caught up in their own thoughts. A man Rey hadn't noticed before ran over to turn off the timer over the stove when it had stared beeping softly. She turned to watch him as he lifted a roast out of the oven, took the sautéed green bean sand mushrooms off the stove, took the gravy off as well, and made up a couple plates for them, and hurried over to set them down carefully in front of Kylo and herself. She smiled up at him, and he nodded and quickly ran off, a cart of the dirty pans and dishes behind dragged behind him, leaving them alone once more. 

Kylo cleared his throat, and leaned over to his right to grab a bottle of alcohol off a cart. " Correlian whiskey?" He asked, showing her the bottle. She nodded, and he picked up two glasses from the bottom rack on the cart for both of them and proceeded to add a little to each glass. 

" to better days" he said, taking a long sip of his drink. She raised hers as well, staring at him. she It was delicious. Her eyebrows raised, staring at the glass; she'd forgotten how good this was. She took another sip, the smooth sweet liquid warming her up from the inside out. 

She took a chance. She smiled over at him, lifting her glass against to cheers with his. He gawked at her, but recovering quickly, responding with a kind of smile of his own, a half smile reminiscent of Han Solo. She smirked, turning to her food. It smelled delicious. 

Another serving of two later of whiskey, she started to almost enjoy herself. They discussed the food, how particularly good it was tonight, he'd explained he loved what that man did with food. He had been a stormtrooper , but when people had realized he had a real talent, he'd been promoted to head of the kitchen downstairs, and later he'd been promoted to Kylo's personal chef. She'd nodded. She didn't blame Kylo. This roast was the best she'd never had. 

After dinner was over, the famed chef had returned, taking the plates from them onto his cart, and returned with two personalized small ramekins of dark chocolate soufflé with a blackberry reduction sauce and fresh whipped cream, a fresh blackberry garnished on top. Rey had practically cheered, clapping her hands smiling ear to ear as she saw what he'd prepared for them for dessert. 

" This is delicious !” She'd explained, forgetting for a moment whom she was talking to- whom she was with, as she tasted the moist puffy cake. She blushed, taking another bite, savoring it. Kylo smirked, glad she was enjoying it. Soufflé was his favorite dessert. Especially the way Marcus made it. He took a bit of his own, closing his eyes for a moment. He'd never get used to this. And hopefully, neither would she, he thought hopefully, gazing at her out of the corner of his eye. 

Desert finished, Rey wheeled herself over to the sitting area, willing herself to move onto the leather armchair by herself by lifting her with the force. Kylo had watched on, giving her a little helpful force lift aid at the end so that she made it safely without having to put weight on her arms or legs. She sighed, " thanks," she muttered, sounding more annoyed than sincere. 

He sat across from her on the other arm chair and swiveled them both to face each other, the coffee table to their left. A moment passed. " thank for dinner- and, for that last bit of help just then with the force" she'd added sheepishly.  
" you're welcome" He exclaimed, smirking again patting his knees as he stood to get some more whiskey. 

" this must be killing you" 

What?"she asked, taking the glass from his hand to take a small sip of the drink. 

" allowing anyone to take care of you" she nearly choked;" yeah" she croaked, coughing. " yeah, it is". She cleared her threat," Ahhem, mm, it is. I guess I had to take of myself for so long, that it's hard for me to give up any of my control." He nodded. " thank you, though" he looked intently, studying her face as she continued shyly , “ for, um-dinner.” He nodded. 

Right. Enough of this. He frowned, “Rey, as you know, I called you here to discuss an important matter with you” she nodded, studying his expression. Gods she missed the bond, she thought bitterly. If only there was a way to get it back. 

“And so, well, here it is- I am giving you an ultimatum, Rey. Usually the punishment for desertion is death” her heart sank. She knew this, but she thought that- “ however-“ she gulped, fidgryting with the hospital band still on her wrist,” you will get to have a choice, because you are a powerful tool for the Knights and the Order.” He cleared his throat, “ you can choose between the following; either you are put to death, on live holo feed as a symbol of the final death of the Resistance. Or! “ he held to his finger, “ or, you can join me, exclusively as my partner once more. You will live here in my quarters with me, you will address me as Kylo in private and Sir and Master when with company, including with the Knights, and you will be exclusively MY padawan.” He began to pace in front of her, on a roll, “ Also, you will be the headmaster of the force academy- that's right Rey, I think that the Sith school idea was tired. I think we need to build a force school, that prides itself on balancing the force, trusting it, learning to balance all parts of it.” 

“ may I have a day to think it through?” She asked, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

No” he said, shaking his head firmly. 

“ well then, yes” she said, taking the few moments she was allowed to make her decision. The force school sounded idealistic and amazing. Living with Ren here would be a challenge, but she’s make negotiations at a later time when she wasn't deciding her own fate to serve Kylo or die. There are worse things than this, she knew. She'd experienced them. 

“ yes?” He sounded surprised, almost yelling the word. “ yes” she repeated, sounding more sure of herself this time. “ oh, Rey !” He cried, pulling her from the chair into his arms. What's happening. She gasped, feeling pain shoot down her leg as it bumped against Kylo’s arm. “ Kylo, oww, please” she gasped, her breath caught as she tried not to cry.   
“ oh, sorry.” He said, sounding sincere. He lowered her back on the chair with the force to prevent her from bumping her injury again.   
“It's ok-“ she replied, a little harsher than she meant to, honestly, “ it's just- it's still tender from earlier today.   
“ right - may I have a look, Rey?” She glanced up at him from her leg, surprised. “ um- I suppose so,” she muttered, rolling up the loose pant leg enough to expose the injury. The doctors has done a good job stitching the would. The bacta would protect her from any infection, he thought as he inspected her wound. Force, Karag really did a number on her today. He'd told him to teach her to respect the Knights and the Order, he didn't know he'd take it this far. Then again… Karag had always been a stickler for discipline and respect. But- he'd heard a rumor that Rey and he were close? I guess the rumors weren’t true after all, he smirked. Maybe I was wrong to be jealous for all those months when they trained together on my ship and spent time together on Jakku.   
Was he laughing at her ? She wondered, frowning, trying to discern his smirk at some private joke.   
“ what?” She barked. He looked at her face, confused.   
“ nothing- “ he replied, pleading innocent,” just, um, admiring Karag’s handiwork”   
She frowned. She didn't think this was funny at all.   
“ I would like to try something - if I may?” He waited for her to give her consent before he closed his eyes, hovering his hands over her stitches. 

Minutes passed. Until a very awkward 1/2 hour had passed and Rey really wasn't in the mood right now for this; “ Kylo- what are you do-“ she stopped midsentence, gaping as she stared at her knee. It was healing! She could see it happening before her eyes. She'd never seen this before, never been able to do it before , just read about it with Kar- she didn't want to even think his name right now. I'm still mad at him. 

Another 1/2 hour passed, and Kylo sat on the arm of her chair to inspect his work. The stitches had been dissolved, leaving behind a faint red line. “It will scar, but at least now the healing process has been sped up by a couple weeks” he smirked, looking particularly Han- like at this moment. She smiled. “ thank you, Kylo” it was his turn to gape. He'd made her actually smile - not a grimace this time. He turned shy, suddenly, “ you’re welcome” he replied, just above a whisper as he smirked at her, studying her face. 

Neither moved a few minutes, just staring at each other. 

No, she had to say something. She missed it so much- she was itching to ask,   
“ Kylo-“   
Yes?”   
“ do you miss the force bond “   
Thank the force she said something first. “ yes” he said, sounding relieved. “ I don't know how, but suddenly a few months after Crait, I couldn't feel you anymore. Karag had found you so I just figured that Snoke was right all along when he sa-“ “no!” She interrupted. He stopped midword , staring at her, taken aback. “ no?” He asked, his expression darkening.   
No” she repeated, readjusting her chair to look him square in the face. “ Kylo, Karag and I found a passage in the ancient texts I stole from the temple on Ach-to. There was a small passage containing a procedure to break the bond. All I had to do was imagine dropping it into ether of the force, and it worked. Now I really know it worked, cause you said you couldn't feel me either” 

He took a deep breath. It all made sense now. He'd been so worried she'd been hurt when he couldn't - feel her anymore. Or unexpectedly see her anymore.   
“ I miss it too, sometimes,” it was her turn to feel shy, admitting how she felt; releasing a secret she'd been carrying for years.   
“ let’s try to get it back then,” Kylo said suddenly, all but yanking her  
From the chair over onto the couch. She was lucky she didn't trip. Force knows she really didn't need another injury right now. She grumbled, sitting cross legged facing him on the couch. He mirrored her.   
Slowly, he took off his leather gloves, and placed them on the table, and turned back towards her to take her hands in his. She hesitated for a moment, remembering the visions last time they'd touched hands, but decided to take the chance anyways. There was no going bCk now. There was only forwards. She grasped onto his hands, feeling an immediate rush of energy and electricity through her entire body. The bond hadn't been lost after all, she realized. It had been diluted by the force, but now it was back, as strongly as it had been before. 

Immediately she felt a wealth of emotion, not all hers. Surprise, worry, happiness that the bond was rebuilt, and the heavy darkness that lived inside them both. And something else, their small light side part of them doubled in size together, taking their breath away. They felt happy at that moment. Like they were coming home. They held each other’s eyes, experiencing their bond as if for the first time, together. 

The moment passed and they let go, panting from the release. Suddenly it was like a damn broke and Kylo pulled her into his lap, kissing her hard on the mouth. The bond reignited, amplifying every sensation as she intertwined her limbs with his, drawing her arms up around his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist. He left her lips for a moment, kissing along her jaw, up to her ear lobe and back again, biting down on her bottom lip. She moaned as the sensation sent a shiver down her spine. 

It had never been like this with Karag.   
Karag” he yelled, his voice rising sharply at the end.   
Shit. “ it was one time “ she pleaded   
he stood up, his body visibly shaking he was so angry. He started pacing. She stood- I can stand again- celebrate later she scolded herself, sprinting over to him to hold his face tenderly in her hands. She looked him in the eyes, “ Kylo-“ he was still shaking, but at least he was listening. “ Kylo- it was well over a year ago. We were both drunk. We both thought it meant something at the time but it didn't. Our relationship was never the same after that- especially this past year. Search my feelings. You know that I'm speaking the truth” 

He studied her for a moment. The force sang out that what she was saying was true. It had been a one time thing. He couldn't hold her past loves against her. They'd been apart for a long time. They'd never actually been together. Except if you count the force bond. Which he sort of does, sort of. 

He smirked; whatever. She was his now. And Karag worked for him. He'd proven that today. He pulled her in close, and lifted her up to circle her legs around his waist as he kissed her, sucking a hicky into the side of her neck. She gasped, leaning into his touch.   
“ now- everyone will know that you’re mine “ he growled, talking with her until he leaned back her with so that he was partially laying on top of her on the bed. 

“ yes” she breathed, pulling him flush against her. She needed him. Now.   
“ yes,” she rolled them over, so that she was on top, straddling him. She rubbed herself against him, eliciting a growl from him. “ I'm yours”. And you” she pushed his hands behind his head, kissing him, roughly grabbing his lower lip between her teeth, her eyes sparking yellow as she let herself go for just a moment, and allowed herself to feel possessive towards him as well, “ are mine."


	14. A better chapter

He felt terrible. Physically and emotionally. Physically, he'd been training himself without rest since his... incident with Rey two days ago. Every once and a while he'd wake up on the floor, having passed out from fatigue. Hours later he'd wake up on the floor, mentally chastising himself for sleeping instead of training, and he'd start again. He hadn't eaten either. Ren had ordered the knights to train alone for the next few days. Of course Ren didn't realize what he was going through. Ren only thought him loyal to the cause and that he only wanted to work like this as a sort of small sabbatical to work on his craft to be a better teacher. He sneered at the thought, a tear dripping down his ruddy cheek as he punched mercilessly at the hanging punching bag. He dropped and spun around to kick it, but ended up falling flat on his back from exhaustion induced dizziness. 

Fuck, he breathed, his breath ragged from exertion. I miss her.  
" Rey" he whispered. He'd lost her. To his master. He'd actually lost her More than a year ago when he'd distanced from her and treated her like any of the other knights, with the exception being his son, of course. His son was his family first and foremost, before being a knight. He'd never let himself forgot that. 

But, Rey. He'd really fucked up. He allowed his anger and pain to fuel him, jumping from flat on his back to his feet, and started calling droids to fight him at staff hand to hand combat. 

He couldn't focus through and didn't block in time as the droid's staff made contact with his head, knocking him out cold.  
\---  
" Dad?"  
He felt a tug on his shoulder. He groaned, rubbing his hand roughly on his head to force away his headache. He didn't have the strength to use the force to help, and was about to say something as he felt a cool wash flow through his head; the physical pain and mental pain were gone, for now.  
He opened his eyes to see his son sitting by his side , his eyes still closed , his hand poised over his father's forehead.  
Thank you" he rasped, a relieved smile on his face.  
" no problem" his son said, helping his father back onto his feet. "Dad," he cleared his throat," when was the last time you slept?" He held his father tightly by the arm to steady him.  
Karag grumbled something to the effect of, " i can't remember; not since Rey-" his voice broke at the end. He looked off at the small viewing port on the training room wall, a distant look in his eyes.  
" I know" Jacob muttered in reply, worry and sympathy for his father coloring his expression. " I know," he repeated, helping his father back to the elevator to their quarters. 

\-----  
Rey had never felt so free in her life. She actually thrived in this setting with Kylo. She had the ability to choose her schedule to fit HER for the first time in, well, her life. She was Kylo's parter in all this so they did plan every evening what time they wanted to train together the following day. But other than that she had free reign. She could watch holo, or train by herself, or read any number of force literature recorded in the ship's extensive archives database. For the first couple days since the evening she moved in with Kylo and became his partner, she refused to let herself sit around idle; she convinced herself it was because she had so many things she wanted to do and learn, but really she didn't want to allow herself to think about a certain force sensitive and his son; the force family she had left behind. Even though they were only a few floors down, she did not have to worry about a chance meeting; their quarters are separated completely. 

However, a couple days in, she felt a distress in the force. 

She was sitting on the couch; Kylo was in a meeting with the generals. Her legs curled under her, she was lounging on the arm chair sifting through news feeds on her holo when she felt it. A prick, almost like a string was pulled taut in the force. Someone was trying to talk to her. She recognized immediatelt that it wasn't Kylo; their attachment was strong and allowed him to become visible to her, and vise versa. This was smaller, but the pluck was violent enough that it had caught her attention. 

She felt the pluck again. this time her curiosity got the best of her. She carefully studied the location of the string, tracing it back to its source. She was well acquainted enough with this onyx dark aura to know it was the very man she didn't want to see more than anyone in the galaxy. 

Remembering her lessons for bond removal; this was easier of course, and didn't require her to faint from the effort of throw up, or cry and have a panic attack like her process with her bond removal after Crait from Kylo. This was simple, like tucking away a sheet of paper into a drawer. It didn't hurt. 

She tried to convince herself of this, repeating the phrase in her mind like a mantra as she stood to walk over to the kitchen area to grab herself a piece of fruit. She set it back down on the counter, her appetite gone. She sucked in her breath and sighed, slamming her fist down hard on the granite counter. 

She turned and jumped up onto the cold counter, tucking her legs criss cross under her, and closed her eyes to meditate. It took her a little longer this time to find him, because she'd just purposefully lost his thread in the force. Her frustration growing, she dug deeper into her rage to increase her power, this time shortening her connection, not reaching as far; instead feeling for all life on the ship until she found him. She dragged The dark as onyx aura toward her until she felt she could pull to really get his attention. No reply. Really pissed now, she groaned aloud, dragging the connection towards her with more force than necessary.  
" Rey?" The small male voice whispered on the fringe of her mind. Her barricades strong and fully functional as usual, she had to create a small pocket and move it out past into the insignificant memories she surrounded her thoughts with.  
" Karag". In her head, she sounded as tired and heart sick as had never allowed herself to feel or show. 

There was silence on his end. She felt him push their connection away but gave him another tug, pulling him back again. They were doing this. Now. She wasn't going to let him get away this time. Not when he'd tried to create a connection in the first place.  
" did you have something to say? She asked, her voice in her head clipped the words, like she would sound through clenched teeth. 

Again there was silence. Instead, a memory was sent over; She, Jacob and Karag sitting in the Falcon, studying force tactics and mathematics together like a small family. She pushed it away, disgusted. How dare he. 

" that was a long time ago, Karag. It was never real, remember ? You manipulated me into trusting you. I, I thought of you two as my family. Even in my first year of training , I didn't allow anything to change that. But-" 

Again, there was silence on his end. 

" Goodbye, Karag" she whispered, releasing the thread back into the ether. 

She opened her eyes to find Kylo standing right in front of her. She met his eyes and smiled weakly at him. He raised his hand wiped under her eyes. She realized she'd been crying, her face was soaked in tears as they streamed down her face. She reached over to her left and grabbed a paper towel, wiping her face. 

Sobbing, she pulled Kylo close to her between her legs, wrapping herself around him. He wrapped his arms in response, holding her close to him to comfort her. 

He'd felt the connection. Even though he hadn't heard what had been said; he'd backed off, wanting to give her and Karag some privacy. He was a little jealous to be sure, of her connection to his closest friend, but he respected her. Trusted her. And trusted Karag. He knew they needed to make their peace with each other to move on. 

Gradually she relaxed, leaning her head gently on his chest. She sighed. She couldn't cry anymore. She'd made her peace. She had to move on. Kylo was, and had always been, the person she was meant to be with. Kylo didn't say a word, he knew, from his experience with her, and through the bond, that what she really needed right now was to be held and protected. He moved his hands under her knees and repositioned them so that he was cradling her in his arms. Bridal style, he carried her over the threshold into their bedroom area and laid them both down on the bed and wrapped them both up in the sheets and blankets. Laying like this, warm and safe in his arms, she felt herself drift off into the first deep dreamless sleep she'd had since she'd moved away from the knight's quarters. 

\---- the next morning , she awoke much later than usual, to an empty apartment. On her beside table was note, written in neat curling basic," gone all morning for meetings. No training today. Relax and focus on self care today my dear Rey. Tomorrow we can resume training-Kylo"

She laid the note back down on the table, lifting herself out of bed to go take a shower. Getting out, she stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, but looked less puffy after the hot shower at least. She put some leave-in conditioner in her hair, blew it dry, and washed and moisturized her face. She brushed her teeth, put lotion to soothe her sore muscles. The bruises were all but gone now. 

She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she wrapped herself back up in a towel to walk to the closet. She chose black light cotton sweats, a fitted black T, and black thin socks. 

She made herself eat, deciding on a couple eggs over easy, a bagel, and a banana and grapefruit. Afterwards, she decided to spend the day researching force history on the holo. She was starting to finally feel better, deep in thought about the force, when suddenly it was as if something shifted and clicked and she needed to see Karag. Now. 

She sprinted for the door, darning her boots, not bothering to even lace them until she was in the elevator and traveling down towards their floor. It was about 5 in the evening in the cycle; knowing Karag, she knew he'd be just starting to cook dinner by now. The knights got back from training at 6. She'd make this quick. But she felt like she needed to have a face to face conversation with the man. For herself. She needed this. 

The soft ding alerted her out of her reverie. Her mind froze for a moment, suddenly feeling unsure of herself. She took a deep breath to steady herself. She could do this... I can do this... I can do this. 

The door opened. 

Sure enough, Karag was in his element, cutting up various vegetables and meats for his signature beef stew. 

His body stiffened when he heard the soft ding and felt her in the force. He tried his best to ignore her as she stepped from the elevator and walked slowly over to where he stood, he back facing her. 

Not knowing what else to do at this moment, she jumped up onto a clean part of the counter, curving her legs criss cross under her, like she had a million times before when she'd watched and helped him make dinner. 

" yum!! Something smells amazing!" She praised, " what are you making ?" She smiled over at him, making her best attempt to recapture their old playful relationship. 

He winced and froze for a moment, before throwing a carrot up into the air, cutting it in half with a flourish as it fell onto the cutting board. A trace of a smile on his face, he turned towards her , looking at her for the first time.  
" show off " she teased, giggling.  
Her smile evaporated as she took in his face. His eyes were bloodshot. It was obvious he hadn't shaved in a while, although he was wearing clean clothes and had showered at least. 

She lowered her head to stare at her lap. He's been crying... she realized, tears once again brimming, threatening to spill over. She sniffled, betraying herself. She tried to stop but was overcome with a wealth of emotion like she had the night before. She sobbed, wrapping her folded arms against her lowered head, curling into herself. 

He let her cry herself out, laying his knife down on the board, lowering himself to sit on the kitchen floor and wrap his knees against his chest as he watched her cry. He felt raw. He felt a few tears escape his eyes, wetting his collar as he tucked his head down, he didn't have much else to give. 

He felt her shift but hadn't realized she'd approached until he felt her join him on the floor, sitting next to him tucked into the corner , and her hand rest lightly on his hand. She started to release his hand, hugging her knees to her, when she felt him twist his hand to hold it in place. 

She sighed, feeling calm wash across to her. She was vulnerable right now, so it affected her. She breathed a little sigh of relief, grief replaced by fatigue from crying, leaning her head against his shoulder.  
She copied him, sending waves of calm over to him. She felt his tense shoulders relax back to normal under her head, felt his breathing regulate. He mimicked her, leaning his head against hers. 

They sat there for a few minutes, working together to calm each other, two friends finding a way to fix a broken relationship. 

Rey was the first to stand, releasing his hand only when she'd helped him back onto his feet. She missed the contact immediately, and stepped towards him to grab him into a deep bear hug. He responding immediately, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. 

The hug was a little longer than two friends would share, but neither wanted to be the first to pull away. They had slipped into something else. He turned his head and nestled his face deeper into her neck. She sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. 

His mind was fuzzy right now. He didn't think when he kissed the crook of her neck. Her breath hitched, but she couldn't imagine being the first to pull away. She relaxed back against him, wrapping herself more tightly to him. 

He moved his lips up her neck, kissing softly all the way to her ear, nibbling before kissing back up her jaw until his face hovered over her lips. 

She'd lost herself in the moment, her eyes closed, giving herself over to the gentle kisses until she felt him hovering over her lips, waiting for her to consent. Her eyes cracked wipe open, staring at his. Their expressions mirrored either other, both unsure of their next move. 

And just like that the moment was over. She broke away from him, separating them by a foot. She stared through him, rubbing absentmindedly at the places where he had kissed her, trying to get herself to think straight. 

He couldn't - before he could talk himself out of it, he acted purely on instinct, kneeling down on one knee before her. 

He took her hand in both of his, and stared earnestly up into her eyes. Her eyes focused, broken out of her train of thought. Her eyes widened. She knew this pose from holos. Was he?

" Rey-" he gulped, "Rey- since the moment we met, I have loved you" she gaped but let him continue, curious as to what he would say next. " your smile, your laugh, your beauty and kindness and wit, have been all that I can think about" she tried to remove her hand but he felt her hand firmly between his;" Rey- run away with me and Jacob. Become an official member of my family. I can block out signatures in the bond and we can live in peace on Ach-to. You and I, and Jacob, as well as surviving Resistance, are the only ones who know of its location. I love, love, love you with all my heart. Please, marry me."

"Oh.. Karag, I-" her voice broke; she didn't get a chance to answer him as she felt the knights arrive on the elevator. She threw Karag a look. He nodded, getting up to quickly continue his dinner prep. She stepped back to hop up on the counter. She turned as the people stepped off the elevator, pretending to jump off only she noticed they'd arrived. 

"Rey?!" Jacob exclaimed, sprinting over to wrap her in a tight bear hug.  
She laughed hugging him back, " Hey Jacob!" She smiled at the Knights. They patted her on the back, welcoming her and asking her questions about her health and time spent with their master. 

Their curiosity satisfied, they went off to their chambers to freshen up for dinner and relax. Jacob sat down at the dining table, after setting it, to work on his math a little before supper, and Rey decided to help Karag to speed up the process. 

Jacob didn't ask questions about why Rey was back. Was she back, though? He was just glad she was there. He'd missed her. And his father finally seems back to normal , thank the force. Those two laughing and working together in the kitchen made it feel like old times. Like life was finally balanced again. He sighed happily, finishing up one last problem as he heard Rey call everyone to dinner. 

She and Karag lifted all the dishes with the force, careful not to spill on anyone's head, onto the table. There was a collective round of applause as baskets of hot cornbread flew over as well as butter, a batch of margaritas, and ice waters were also dished out. And iced tea for Jacob. 

Dinner dragged on for a long time as people caught up about life, force, the food, and old times. The dishes were collected and flown over to the dish washer and in came hot out of the oven apple crisp and vanilla iced cream. Jacob all but freaked out. This was his favorite. He clapped harder than the rest, jumping up to help serve, hugging Rey and his father to thank them before sitting down to enjoy his dessert. 

Rey closed her eyes, enjoying the hot crisp apples and sweet cinnamon glazed with the generous scoop of melted iced cream.  
She groaned," Karag, you have outdone yourself !" She winked at him playfully. He smiled, a true smile for the first time today. Everyone was in agreement. 

It was a group effort to clean the dishes, so it only took a few minutes before the kitchen and table were once again spotless. 

Slowly people left to turn in and relax in their chambers, until Karag, Rey, and Jacob remained. They sat down on the leather sofa, Rey curling herself into the cozy armchair across from them. She leaned her head back, relaxed and full and content. 

" Rey?"  
Hmm?" She sighed, her eyes closed her lips curving into a hint of a smile.  
"are you moving back here?" Jacob asked, his voice high, just above a whisper.  
Her smile fell. She opened her eyes to look at them both.  
Karag's face looked pained as he stared at her. He didn't know how she was going to respond. 

She looked at both of them, studying them for a moment, thinking about what to say. 

" well, Jacob" she said, keeping eye contact with him, her eyes darkening slightly , " I have moved upstairs to Kylo's chambers. " it hurt her to see Karag 's face grimace, his eyes close and eyebrows furrow; she knew it hurt him to hear this, but it was the truth as of right now, at least.  
Jacob nodded, his eyes darting between Rey and his father. He'd guessed as much when she hadnt returned for a couple days.  
He stood,"okay. Just know you're welcome her any time." She smiled up at him; " thank you Jacob!" He hugged her to him and waved goodnight to them both before heading to his chambers. 

She watched Jacob leave until the door clicked closed and then stared at the warmly-lit hallway, unwilling to look at Karag just now. 

She turned only to stare at her lap for a long moment before peeking up at him. He was watching her carefully, like she could break down and flee his home at any moment. She rolled her eyes, teasing him silently for being worried. 

To appease him, she sent more waves of calm in his direction. Although his walls were up, he appreciated the gesture and visibly relaxed, his face smoothing back to Normal. He laughed.  
" I just didn't know"  
She chuckled ,"yeah" she half -smiled at him. 

You haven't given your answer yet" he whispered, his face stoic but she knew him well enough that she could see the unexpressed emotion in his eyes. 

" yes. I know." She bit her lip, considering. She whispered so that no one could overhear" it's just - I need to know something. Why did you push me away for a year if you loved me ? I need to know, Karag. That's why I came here. Why ? And then why did you hurt me ?" 

He didn't answer right away. He rubbed his hands roughly through his hair. He didn't look at her, thinking through the best choice to words to explain his loyalty to his master. Instead, he sent her a part of a memory: down on one knee, he stared up at Kylo Ren, his saber poised horizontally out in front of him as a sign of respect for his master. Kylo was seated on his obsidian throne, his saber unlit by his side. He said, " Karag, you are my best apprentice and closest friend. Because I trust you, I am giving up this mission. I want you to act as a spy for me. I want you to gain Rey's trust. I want you to find some way to introduce her to new ways of thinking about the force and training, without revealing who you truly are. I want you to do whatever means necessary to gain her trust, and then bring her to me. Train her. Protect her. Guide her until she is ready to join the knights and then she will join me."  
" Yes, master " Karag 's voice replied, confidently standing up, extinguishing his saber and wrapping it back into his sash, bowing deeply before his master before taking his leave. ---

She wasn't surprised by this . But she didn't know what to say. Everything made sense now. She had learned years ago that Karag had been obeying orders, but she didn't know how much Karag knew of Ren's plans with her. She was about to say something when she felt him send another memory:

This time Karag was sitting on the rock back in Jakku. Rey could feel his happiness as he stared up at the star filled sky, enjoying the cold night breeze. He was wrapped in the thick red blanket Rey now knew that his wife had made for him. It was his second day in the Resistance. Because he was trained in combat, Poe and Leia had made him a lookout to protect the fort. He'd convinced them to allow Jacob to work with him. They'd agreed, because of Jacob's skills in hand to hand combat he'd shown off when tested.  
Jacob was nestled in thick blankets behind Karag, snoring softly. 

He'd heard someone clamber up the ladder. When he'd turned, he'd seen Rey for the second time since he'd arrived.-- Rey was surprised, in the present, on seeing the memory, that Karag had felt attraction right away -- Karag had been immediately smitten. But because he was so focused on his mission, he'd decided that being her friend would be enough. " Rey!" He'd greeted her, smiling, quietly waving to her to join him on the threadbare blanket he was sitting on. She'd beamed in response; the light that sang from her was mesmerizing. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she approached, sitting down next to him to smile over and inquire about his day. It was as if she was flowing from the inside out -- she blushed at this -- but still the memory kept going... hours of talking later, she'd fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder. He'd wrapped her shoulders with half of the red homemade blanket, and wrapped her arm around her to keep her close.

" that was one of the happiest moments of my life" Karag explained, bringing the memory to a close, back in the present, staring at her. 

She finally made eye contact, flustered, unsure of what to say, she wiped at her eyes and threw herself off the chair into his arms. 

She hugged him tightly, her tears thankfully left unshed. She was too happy to cry, and too tired to cry happy tears. She was just happy at this moment to have such an amazing friend in her life.  
" it was the happiest moment in my life" she whispered against his neck. He shivered as her hot brash caressed his skin, drawing his head back to look at her. She sat sideways to look at him. She smiled, tracing his jaw with her fingers. 

"Have you decided on your answer ?"  
I -" she heard it, then. The buzzing. Her com had been going off for the past 1/2 hour; Ren was wondering when she'd be back. He knew where she was, he'd felt it in the force. He just wanted to know if he should wait up for her. 

Shit " she gasped, extracting himself from his lap to go to the kitchen to retrieve her com and check her messages. She shivered. 2 missed calls and 2 texts. <>  
<< okay. Glad to hear it. See you soon. - Kylo >>

She set the com down and walked back over to sit back down on the arm chair." I don't know why I didn't notice the buzzing until now"

" Kylo?"  
She nodded, looking anywhere but him.  
" You need to go back to him" she stared up at him, her eyes wide.  
" I-"  
He stood and paced before her," you need to go back to him. Tomorrow, I will make all the necessary arrangements. Jacob will be with me. I've been ordered to do some work on the outer rim. I leave tomorrow night at 4. Everything is being packed as we speak. I'll have enough food to last me 4 months. That will be enough for us, if you will join me, to get to Ach-to and then until we get on our feet in our new life." 

She didn't know what to say. She stared at him. 

Before she could answer, he stood, walked over to where she sat, and leaned over to look her straight in the eyes, inches from her face ; " it is your choice , Rey. Follow your heart. I will not think ill of you no matter what you choose" with that, he leaned in slowly to brush his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. When she had opened her eyes, his back was turned as he walked to his quarters, closing the door with a soft click behind him. 

Left alone , she stood, feeling dazed and confused, and walked over to retrieve her com and to take the elevator back home. 

She stepped off the elevator into the dark entry chamber, and used her fingerprint to open the door. Inside, all the main lights were off except for the emergency lights. She could read from Kylo's force signature that he was already asleep. She checked her comm. 11:30. It was already pretty late. They were set to train together tomorrow at 5 AM. maybe the training will help, she hoped. For now, she'll have to really protect her thoughts so that Ren doesn't find out about her feelings and confusion about Karag. 

After ducking into the fresher, she set her clothes out for the next morning and crawled into bed. Setting her comm down on the night stand , she turned towards Kylo. In his sleep, he reached out towards her, folding her into his arms. She snuggled close. This felt right. But. Ohh, she didn't know what to do. Maybe tomorrow she'd feel a little more sure of what choice to make. Her head nestled against his chest, she fell asleep lulled by the sound of his heartbeat. 

\-----

Training was grueling the next morning. Waiting training. Aerobics. Saber and lightning practice for a couple hours. The training didn't stop until noon. By then, they were both exhausted, happy but out of breath and famished. They enjoyed a couple roasted chicken paninis Kylo's chef prepared with a fresh cilantro pesto and cold raspberry iced tea. 

Kylo had a meeting at 1 so he brushed his teeth and showered and kissed her quickly before running out to make it in time, leaving her alone for the first time all day to think. She knew from experience to go with her first instinct- she'd go with it. 

It was 3:30. She stared at her comm, watching the seconds tick by. She'd already made her decision. She stood and paced. And ran back to her comm. 3:45. 15 minutes to turn back. 10 minutes to turn back. 5 minutes to change my decision. 1 min. 50 seconds. Time was up. She'd made her decision. Now she'd have to live with it for the rest of her life. No going back now. 

\----  
4 months later 

 

He was preparing the ship to return to the knight's base when he felt the wind pick up. Jacob was already on board , making last minute checks on the engine and controls. Karag turned to see a great storm blowing towards their ship. 

The Rim planets were said to house a number of force sensitives, according to their research. Ren had sent them here to scout for anyone worthy for a scholarship pending when the force sensitives school began. So far , no luck. For the past 4 months they've been traveling around Hoth; a frozen waste land in Karag's opinion, home to more creatures than humanoids. Little food, freezing temperatures, and now a great cyclone was blowing up the mountainside towards them. 

It's been a hell of a four months, Karag thought grimly, clutching his hood to him as he ran back up the plank, closing it securely behind him. 

Loud howling could be heard through the thick shuttle walls. It was time to go. Thank the force. " let's get out of here" Karag ordered, stepping quickly over to the cockpit to buckle into the pilot's seat to take off. Jacob was already seated in the co pilot's seat and strapped in. He noddded at his father, " Yes,sir !" Finally... he thought, turning back to the controls.  
" all set " he responded. With that they took off and set into light speed directly over the swirling cyclone storm that ravaged the land at this time of year. 

Karag sighed with relief, leaning back into his chair after he made sure the correct coordinates were in place and a transmission was sent to report back to Ren and Hux. He sighed, patting the arms of his chair, and turned towards his son. 

" well, we tried."  
" yup" jacob replied grumpily, uncomfortable with failure. They'd wasted 4 months chasing ghosts. Karag had used the time to get over losing Rey, but Jacob knew he still thought about her; he said her name in his sleep sometimes when he napped in the pilot's chair. Still, he couldn't blame Rey for making the choice to stay with Ren over his father. Rationally , this choice allowed them to all continue their routines and stay together. Running away to Ach-to would have been an romantic version of exile. Not a real solution. This allowed them to remain on the destroyer, go on missions; it allowed him to remain in school, train, and make something of himself. And this way, Rey could train force sensitives in the school they were planning, and she could move about and plan her life as she wished. 

Jacob reclined back in his chair, mimicking his father, and crossed his arms under his head, sighing loudly, and closed his eyes to rest. 

They'd just barely missed the storm. The radar had been off the charts the last cycle, registering a large terrifying event with strong winds and several feet of snow. They'd gotten out just in time. They would've been buried otherwise. It didn't matter anyways. They'd stayed their full 4 months. This time tomorrow they'd be home in the knights quarters; back to school and routine training. 

\----  
Since the night Rey decided to stay with Ren, she'd tried her hardest to not think about what could have been. Force knows, she actually had much more freedom with Ren than she did with Karag. It just wasn't in the cards for her. She'd been on a Rim planet, isolated from school, proper medicine, and the outside world for most of her life. No, she wanted more. She wanted passion, comfort, respect, protection, and dare she say it, power. She wanted Ren. And she still needed Karag 's friendship. 

She was a bundle of nerves when she went down on the elevaor with the knights and Ren to welcome back Karag and Jacob. She stood by Ren's side , fidgeting with the sleeve of her structured fitted black cotton lined leather jacket. She was the first to leave the elevator at Reb's side, followed by the other knights, in a line 2 at a time. 

Seeing Jacob and Karag walk down the ramp into the landing strip, Rey squeezed Ren's hand, released it and ran the twenty feet down between the landing strip and the elevator to embrace Karag and Jacob in a tight group hug. She pulled away slightly, holding their left hands, " welcome home guys !" She beamed, looking them both over and tugging them with her over to where Ren stood with the knights. Everyone talked at once as they rode back up the elevator. Jacob complained about the barren landscape on Hoth, the cold, the grouchy people. The knights squabbled over who'd made the most progress since Master Karag had left. Rey wanted to talk about what she'd learned. Ren and Karag exchanged a look. " welcome home Master Karag " Ren smirked, patting Karag softly on his shoulder.  
Karag bowed his head, and looked back in Ren's direction, " it's a shame that the mission wasn't more successful." Ren nodded, grunting, and snickered. " it's a shame those snow beasts aren't force sensitive.  
" ha!" Karag replied, " Rhank the force that's not the case. That'd sure be a sight to see" Ren snickered again, gazing around the elevator as people chatted away," indeed." 

Rey got off the elevator with the knights and Karag and Jacob. She turned to see if Ren wanted to join their small party; Ren shook his head ;" thank you all, but I have a meeting scheduled in 20 minutes with the generals. Rey, I'll see you soon. I'll plan to see the rest of you tomorrow at our monthly training session. The knights bowed at the waist towards their master as the doors closed. 

Alone, the knights went nuts, wanting to drink and mock fight, and tell and hear stories about the past 4 months. It took a couple hours to settle down; by then, the knights had either retired drunk or passed out on the floor or on the couch. Rey looked around them; bottles littered all over the floor. Balloons in all disarray all over, popped or thrown into odd places. She shook ahead, laughing. " you guys sure do play hard " Karag laughed, nodding in agreement as he surveyed the room.  
It would take hours for the cleaning droids to clean all this up.  
Jacob had already gone to bed, too young to enjoy the drinking, and exhausted from his journey. This left Rey and Karag. As always, they were the last two left standing at the end of a party. 

"Well- Rey huffed" standing up a little wobbly from drinking ," I should get back to Ren. I'll see you tomorrow then? She asked, not really waiting for an answer as she made her way to stand and wait for the elevator.  
Karag stood up as well, walking up behind her. He blamed this on the alcohol, he really did. And later Rey would too, sort of. As Rey reached in front of her to press the up button, Karag stepped in close behind her, pressing flush against her back as his hand roved down her shoulder across her arm to quickly cover the back of her hand with his own, and lowered her hand back down to her side. Moving the same back up the path to her shoulder, he gently moved her hair away from her neck on that side, pressing a kiss against the nape of her neck. 

She froze as he pressed himself against her; icy hot traveled down her arm as he accented his touch with the force as he pushed her hand away from touching the up arrow on the elevator. Her breath hitched, her stomach flipped, and against her better judgement she found herself responding to his touch. She tilted her head to the side, giving him more access to her neck as he pressed light kisses against it. She leaned back against him. Removing his hand from her shoulder, he moved both hands down to her waist, moving them up slowly up her slender hips and sides until against both hands were on her shoulders. She moved behind her head to play with the hair at the nape of his neck behind her. He moved her hair away from her neck on the other side, repeating the process. Again, the icy hot trails accented by the force sent shivers all over her body. 

Her breath came out staggered as he kissed her neck again; she swallowed, her eyes still closed enjoying the sensations he was creating;" Karag -" hmm?" He replied, the sound reverberating against her throat. It was absolutely exquisite, but -" stop" she said, using the force behind her words to push him back slightly so she could face him. 

She shrugged off his hands, glaring slightly up at him. He stopped immediately. This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't who he wanted to be. He frowned, his brows furrowed as he broke her stare, gazing down at the ground, shoving his hands in his pockets, he walked without another glance her way until he disappeared into his chambers; the door clicked closed behind him. 

She stood there, breathing hard. She didn't know how to feel. Angry ? Relieved that he still wanted her? Conflicted ? Guilty? She settled for pissed, kicking a balloon out of the way as she stepped back to the elevator and pressed the key. 

It opened a couple moments later, dinging softly to announce its arrival. She stepped into the elevator and pressed Ren's level. She turned to face the door, staring at the floor buttons, the door clicked closed, only to be topped by a hand. Buzzing, the door opened again, allowing Karag to get in the elevator with her. She stared straight ahead, not knowing how to or wanting to engage with him right now. 

I really don't need this right now, she thought sullenly, crossing her arms, pouting.  
" just - just hear me out, ok, Rey ?" Karag was staring at her, waving his arms as he talked, flustered. She ignored him; it would only be a moment before they arrived at Ren's floor. Then the night would end. 

" Rey!" He called, turning her by the shoulders to face him. He quickly reached to the side and pressed to stall the elevator for a moment. It halted, a soft white light illuminating the gray elevator walls. He stared at her. Pissed, she finally dared look at him. 

Karag - she warned, " I need you to-" before she was allowed to finish, Karag pressed his lips flush against hers, pulling her to him, trying to elicit some response from her. Her mind went blank, and she found herself kissing him back. She stepped a little towards him, winding her hands through his hair. There were no cameras on this elevator because of the classified nature of their missions. Anyways, those wouldn't have stopped her now. He pressed her back against the wall behind her, holding her arms, pinning them above her head. She deepened the kiss, tightening her hold on his hair. 

He hissed at the pain as she pulled his hair. Her arms raised held up by one hand, he reached his other hand down sensuously over her breasts and stomach to rub roughly between her legs over her leggings. Her legs buckled, allowing him to spread her legs to rub harder still. She moaned against his mouth. This was all the encouragement he needed. He smirked, deepening the kiss as he hoisted her up to wrap her legs around his waist, grinding his erection between her legs. 

She moaned, all hormones and feelings right now. She missed him. She - she - she still loved him, she realized. She needed him. Now. And from the feel of it, he needed her as much if not more at this moment.  
He broke their searing kiss for a moment, looking deeply into her eyes. " yes " she breathed, nodding, pulling him to her to kiss him once more. 

Reaching down, he hurriedly, holding her up curled around his waist. He turned to the side, still pressing her against the wall, and grabbed a condom out of his back pocket. Taking a deep breath to steady himself , he slipped the condom on and rotated back so that he could finally make love to the woman he loved. 

" Finally" he breathed,stretching out on the floor of the elevator with Rey curled around his side, both laying on a pile of their discarded clothes, truly happy for the first time in a long time, especially from Karag's perspective. She lay her head on his chest, her hand rubbing soothing strokes against his side. She giggled, turning to press a kiss on his chest. 

Comfortable, they laid like this for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company. The more time that passed, however, Fear settled on them like ice cold water. They looked at each other; What would happen now ? Was it too late ? 

" Rey " Karag said, suddenly sitting up, grabbing her to him roughly him, cradling her in his lap. She stared up at him, her brows burrowed. " i can't lose you" he pleaded. " please -" her eyebrows rose, " please run away with me and Jacob. I'll- I'll protect you. I'll get a job at a university teaching force history and philosophy. I'll be a professor for real. I'll protect our signatures and we can have a new life, together. Please, Rey of Jakku, be my wife." He pressed a lingering kiss on her lips. She responded to his touch, wrapping her arms around his neck, sensuously moving her lips against his. 

She opened her eyes again, staring st him intently; " yes " she whispered. 

He gasped. " yes ?" He breathed,his face relaxing into a beaming smile. He kissed all over her face.  
" yes " she replied, starting the process of making love to him all over again. 

A while later, they finally decided to travel back down to the knights quarters. They dressed, trying to look relatively normal as they left back unto the quarters. By now it was quRter to 1 in the morning.  
" stay here " he whispered, walking quickly over to his chambers to grab his bags. He returned and handed her a bag of her clothes she'd left behind when she'd moved upstairs with Ren. With them he set down his own bags, and presented her with papers. Entry, work and student visas , a new last name for them all. Karag walked away before she had a chance to respond. She was shaking. This was happening. When had he ? During the mission, she realized. He'd been planning this for a while now. He returned to the room with Jacob in tow, floating his bags with him with the force. He walked over and grabbed Rey in a big bear hug ; " rey - are you ready to do this ?" Rey smiled, taking a deep breath, she nodded," yes"she breathed, " yes Jacob, I believe I am." 

The stood together and floated their bags on the elevator, feeling a pang of grief for leaving their quarters and knights behind. The elevator dinged, they'd arrived on the landing pad. The ship was still there ; no one had been ordered to remove for cleaning and inspection. Karag moved first, lowering the ramp with the force, taking all their bags roughly putting them on the ship. Then he sent to work quickly disengaging all tracking equipment the order had installed. Satisfied, he moved back to the front of the ship, signaling them to join him onboard. They were right about to raise the plank when they heard the elevator click open. Out popped the 5 knights, all dressed in leisure wear, carrying bags with them and snacks. " we're coming too !" They argued, walking onboard before they could protest. Rey rolled her eyes. " you guys -" the knights shook their heads. They couldn't imagine life on the destroyer without Master Karag. They were loyal to Ren, but Karag was their friend and when given the chance, they wanted a fresh start; the chance to start families and futures of their own, to teach their own padawans. Jacob cheered, running up to press the controls to take off. The ship floated up, the ramp closing securely behind them as they all strapped in for take off. Karag sent out the signal, and the shield opened. He pressed the coordinates for Coruscant and sent them into light speed. Are you ready, rey ?" He asked, kissing Rey's cheek as she sat sideways on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. She leaned in, kissing his lips quickly with her own.  
" yuck" Jacob moaned, looking away.  
Rey chuckled, looking back at Karag. She gazed into his eyes, kissing him once on the lips again; she gazed down at him, stroking his hair; she smiled wickedly, " Let's do this."

**Author's Note:**

> Be honest :) this is my first fanfiction attempt. I can't wait to hear what you all think !! I'll post 2-3 times a week. Enjoy


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